I wasn’t fertile yet because I was breastfeeding our four month old daughter, but we went to a fertility awareness class where we learned about my body so we could be prepared when it did return.
As we learned all about the fertility cycle, I wasn’t sure how my husband would react to learning about some of my more intimate bodily functions. I didn’t realize how relieved I would be when he handled it all maturely and matter-of-factly. He never expressed that he was grossed out or anything.
His response made me feel completely safe with him. He respected how my body worked. And I felt that if he could accept all the physical functions of my body, I could trust him to accept all the inner and emotional parts of me that I might be tempted to keep hidden.
I also discovered that when we couldn’t come together physically, we come together emotionally. During my fertile time, when I especially want to be close to him but we can’t (at least not physically), I have found we have more heart to heart conversations. I find myself opening up more to him.
When my husband learned about my dark past, he met me with acceptance. And now, when learning about the functions of my body in the course we took together, he met me with the same acceptance.
My husband is not the chatty type, but more and more I am discovering that he accepts me and loves me for who I am. Not just the outside or the inside, but all of me together.
The respect my husband has shown in learning about my body helped me to trust him even more than I already did. I mean, I trust him not to lie to me or keep secrets, but my trust goes deeper than that. I also trust him with myself. I trust him to accept all the dark or embarrassing parts of me.
Whatever I’m experiencing, I can talk to him about it. He’s shown again and again that he’ll accept me with understanding.