The wounds I was left with when my parents split up taught me the importance of having both parents in the home.
My husband and I have created two beautiful little human beings together. Two little wonderful people that have inherited an equal balance of our personalities and a mixture of our looks. They have his strong will and my desire to connect to other people. We are the two parts of their whole and because of that we both can parent better by parenting together.
As a child, I watched my parents’ personalities clash. I felt like a part of myself was being rejected by my parents each time they rejected each other. That experience taught me the importance of accepting my husband in his entirety, even when I disagree with him.
I’ve learned that being together makes us better parents for our children. We can encourage each other when we do something right and offer advice if we go off course. I have also found that our beautiful children give us joint purpose to push through our own issues.
He understands the qualities that they have that come directly from him. He knows how to respond to those qualities and how to mold them. Similarly, I can see the qualities our children receive from me and can understand how they are feeling so I can help them grow in those things.
There are days where stress gets the better of us, and we are short with one another. But then I see him with our children, and it reminds me why I married him. I see a tenderness in him when he takes the time to read the same book for the hundredth time. I see a devotion in him when he is willing to lay by my oldest daughter’s bed, holding her hand until she falls asleep. After all the struggles I have had with my own self-esteem, I know that my girls need the certainty of having both their father and me in their corner always.
I think it is important for them to see us succeed rather than give up when faced with conflict. Seeing us push through difficulties and be stronger for it, seeing that a commitment brings messes but also victories and gifts when it is worked for, will benefit our children as they grow. At the same time, I have found that our beautiful children help motivate us to push through our own issues.
Our children need me. Our children need my husband. Although sometimes I forget it when we are aggravated with each other, I know I need him too! We all need each other.
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