I didn’t think five words would mean so much to me. But one conversation with my husband changed my whole perspective and helped me regain my confidence.
As I’ve written previously, My husband and I were exchanging our thoughts and feelings about each other as part of a game we played to help us reconnect.
At one point, my husband looked me in the eye and told me, “you are a great mom!”
Over the past few years, my husband has told me I am a good mother. But this time was different. He not only told me that I was an amazing mom, he also explained why he thinks this. He listed the daily things I go through with our kids, including the struggles I constantly overcome while trying to shape our children into the people we hope they grow up to be. He acknowledged how I never get a “weekend” to sleep in, and I am there for my two kids all of the time even while being pregnant and not feeling well most days.
I was honestly surprised by how much his words meant to me. I started trying to understand why that one compliment made such a big impact.
Ever since I had my first child three years ago, I have felt unsure about my ability at being a great mom and have doubted the job I am doing as a mom. These feelings only seemed to grow the longer I was in this role and as I had more children.
I started to think about being a mom as a full-time job. Except you are on call 24/7 , have to come in when you are sick, you don’t ever get vacation, and you also never get a promotion for a job well done.
The results of good parenting can take a lifetime, so it’s also difficult to tell if you are “employee of the month” or should have been fired a long time ago.
Once I started equating being a mom to any other job, I started to understand why my husband’s compliment was so meaningful to me. It felt amazing for my husband to look me in the eyes, acknowledge all I do, and genuinely thank me for all the things I do that I otherwise wouldn’t get recognition for.
Having this conversation with my husband strengthened our marriage. Just as any spouse wants their partner to be supportive of their job, career, or goals, I realized that I wanted that deep support from him. And it strengthens our marriage that he gives it.
Words do make a difference, often a lot more than we realize. It wouldn’t be exaggerating for me to say that what my husband said changed my life. He gave me confidence that I am doing a good job and the encouragement to persevere and to continue doing the best I can.