It’s funny how I met the right person for me just when I had decided that I wasn’t going to get into a serious relationship.
—I had always worked to be in control of the things around me out of fear of the unknown. I believed I could avoid unnecessary heartbreak. I even went so far as making a rule to always break up with the person I was dating rather than give them the chance to hurt me—like so many guys had hurt me before.
To be honest, dating terrified me. How could you ever really truly know if the person you are interested in was on the same page as you?
My future husband Ben was a friend of one of my coworkers. We were introduced to each other for the first time at an after-work get together. Ben and I spent the entire time talking. I had never laughed so much in my life! He asked for my number before the night was over.
I wanted to keep everything as casual as possible because of my dating insecurities, so the first couple of dates we went out together I drove myself in case I needed an out. But in spite of all of my fears about getting into a serious relationship, I found myself falling for this guy.
Two months after we met, I decided to express how I felt about him. I honestly just couldn’t stand the idea of allowing my feelings to grow anymore than they already had if I wasn’t sure they were reciprocated.
He picked me up to go to a basketball game, and when it was over he took me back to my car. We sat in his vehicle talking for hours, as we often did. It was freezing outside so it gave us the perfect excuse to spend as much time as we could together.
When I finally got enough courage, I looked at him and asked, “So are we exclusively dating or what?” He looked at me incredulously and responded, “I don’t know about you, but I have been this whole time!”
I felt both relief and embarrassment rush over me as I emphatically assured him I had been exclusively seeing him, too. I figured I could go ahead and share everything I had going on in my heart. I remember shyly looking up at him and telling him that I had one other thing I had to tell him, but I was too scared.
I know that there is sometimes nothing scarier than sharing your innermost feelings with someone else. But to me it’s even scarier traveling with someone when you don’t know where you’re headed. I told him I loved him. And the best part of it all is he said he loved me too!
I’m so glad I took the chance to tell my now-husband how I felt that cold January night. That conversation allowed our relationship to grow because we were comfortable sharing how we felt about each other. Even if he had turned me down that night, at least I knew where it was heading. I am glad I didn’t let my fear dictate my decision to reveal my heart that night. Life is all about taking those first steps into uncharted territory with the people you love.
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