Sooner or later, some difficulty or crisis comes to pass in everyone’s life. It’s an unavoidable part of the human experience. Remember the saying about there only being two absolutes in life: death and taxes? I think it should be changed to say “death, taxes, and crises.”
Crises are never fun, often dramatic, and energy depleting. If you happen to be one of those unfortunate people who deal with multiple life crises, it can make you question the meaning in your life, the purpose to your existence, and yes, the presence of love in your life.
I believe in love because I have experienced it myself.
I was never the girl who was noticed. I went through high school and most of my college years not having dated anyone, not getting asked on dates, and, in general, receiving no apparent interest from the opposite sex.
I watched the girls around me get asked out by guys—often in rapid succession. I felt flawed, unlovable, and unwanted. I felt like damaged goods. I believed others thought I was irreversibly damaged, but I could not figure out what I had—or had not—done to make people believe this. If I didn’t even know where to start, how could I possibly begin to fix it?
I felt relieved when a guy finally asked me out my senior year of college. It wasn’t a good fit, but hope was reignited in me. Maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t going to be single for the rest of my life.
I met my husband a year after college graduation. Both of us had come through difficult times in the dating world. He left a bad relationship the year before we met, and I was petrified of being alone and unnoticed for the rest of my life. Other personal struggles and crises inevitably occurred over the time we dated. But we found that rather than pulling us apart, we kept moving toward each other.
Not even five months into our marriage, I had my first miscarriage. And I was told I might have ovarian cancer. Was our life together ending just as it was beginning? Was this really it? Had we come all this way together just to have it end like this?
In those dark moments, the love my husband showed me made me believe in love. He has, since then, shown me this love in the face of two other losses, and he continues to show me what love means as we attempt to find an answer for these losses.
Even with deadlines to meet, he stops what he is doing to be there for me. He has never made me feel as if his work is more important, more pressing, more of a priority than me. He continually tells me he loves me no matter what comes our way.
Long ago, I believed that love was only something that happened to a few lucky other people. Now I know love is possible, present, and something each of us can have.
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