My Ex Cheated On Me. How Do I Trust A Man Again?

Bardia Photography

I met my first boyfriend through a mutual friend. The first time we met we talked for hours before we noticed the time and decided to call it a night. The next day he asked me out, and that is when my story of a first love starts.

Things were going good until October when he made a new “friend.” I could feel it in my gut that it was more than just a friendship and that he was cheating on me. About a week later he texted me after a huge fight and said it was over. He had moved on.

As I have written before, I was heartbroken. How could I trust a man again? I didn’t know if I’d be able to open myself up to love after being so betrayed.

But with time, I did. My current boyfriend and I have been together almost two years now, and he has proven to me that, not all people are not the same—there are good people out there—and they deserve a chance to show you that it is possible to believe in love again.

But I’m sure you are wondering, how did he prove that? How did I learn to trust again?

When I think about it, there are five main ways that my boyfriend showed me he was worthy of my trust.

1.He took time to get to know me.

With the previous guy, we were talking for only a week and then spending the night with each other regularly. But my boyfriend and I did things much differently. We developed a friendship before we got romantic. On our first date he held my hand and gave me a kiss, and in general, we took things more slowly than I did in my first relationship.

2. He respected that it would take time for me to trust him.

My boyfriend had also been cheated on, and so he understands my need to heal and rebuild trust slowly. He did not put pressure on me or rush me.  

3. He communicates clearly and honestly.

The previous guy would leave me wondering where we stood. As things started going south, he became more secretive about where he’d been and who he was talking to. But with my boyfriend, I’ve never felt shut out. Even with us currently living in separate states, we FaceTime one another every day to talk about how our day went. We are transparent with each other and do not keep any secrets—we tell each other everything.

4. He’s made me a part of his life.

With my ex, we spent most of our time one on one. We spent a lot of time together, but not with the other people in his life. So in a lot of ways, there was a lot about him that I didn’t really know.

But as my relationship with my current boyfriend has progressed, he’s made me a part of his life. It has been amazing getting to know my boyfriend’s family and friends. For me, seeing the way that he is with his family, friends, and especially with his son shows me what a caring and gentle man he is.

Observing how my boyfriend treats other people—and how he treats me the same around other people as he does when we are alone—has done a lot to prove to me that he is a trustworthy person.

***

After such a hard time in my last relationship, I’m thankful that my boyfriend continues to show me in more ways than just one that he is an amazing person whom I can trust with my whole heart. The first time I gave my heart away to someone who hadn’t earned it. This time I have reasons to trust him.

 

 

Elizabeth

Elizabeth

Elizabeth lives in Cincinnati Ohio. She is the youngest of five kids, enjoys spending time with nieces and nephews, and just doing girly things like shopping, pampering, learning how to cook, and baking new dishes. She believes that love does exist even after a bad experience, and blogs to share her personal experiences to help others know that love does exist.
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