Probably everyone hears at least once during their single years, “How is it that no one has snatched you up yet? You’re such a catch!”
I know some people are bothered by the question, but it was actually my favorite. I would outwardly shrug it off. But actually, I would hope the conversation would continue–Please, tell me more about what every young man in this city is missing.
As much as we don’t want to admit it, it’s hard to be prolongedly single. I used to sit in my parked car outside my apartment and cry every once in a while. I have a terrible sense of direction, I really don’t like city driving, and I hate showing up to places alone. But as a girl who was very single through the majority of my twenties, I spent a lot of time in that Ford Fusion by myself. And sometimes I would suddenly feel a big weight – the awareness that my youth was passing me by and maybe love just wasn’t in the cards for me – and I would just let a few tears flow.
But then I would fix my eye makeup, put myself back together, and be on my way. I would show up to an event solo and immediately begin to enjoy all the lovely company, all the happiness around me. I would courageously walk down that aisle at someone else’s wedding, my arm linked to the usher’s, and find my spot among friends.
You see, though the disappointing dates and dateless nights in my single years at times felt overwhelming and embarrassing, I had a secret little prediction. Someday my wait, which seemed so much longer than everyone else’s, would offer the most wonderful reward. Somewhere out there was the most amazing person, and we were saving ourselves for each other. Then everyone would see: I was a catch, which was why I wasn’t going to be snatched up by just anybody.
Sometimes, in the midst of the frustrations and feelings of rejection during the dating years, it’s hard to believe that relationship status has nothing to do with a your worth. But singles, you are looking for the love of your life. The fact that you’re still single might mean your instincts have told you to hold out for something better. You, single girl, are beautiful and worth someone’s wait. You, single guy, are the end of one sincere heart’s ardent search for love. Someone is looking for you, too. You are a catch, one special person’s catch, and the timing of being snatched up by your spouse is just a part of your love story.
Two years ago, I did marry the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Now, in the same little Ford Fusion that got me safely to most of my friends’ weddings alone, I cart around a little 15-month-old, and will soon have to install a car seat for her new sibling. I am never alone, even when I want to be. I am supremely happy and so, so thankful none of the dates from my twenties worked out, except for the one…
Yet when I look back on the perpetually single girl I was, I’m proud of her. You go, girl, I think. You go with your scraping snow off your own car, finding your way through uptown by yourself, doing your own finances with your meager paycheck, finding joy in other people’s big life events, being a bomb bridesmaid, wearing high heels all over town and carrying a darling, tiny (diaper-less) purse. I’m glad for the experiences I had as a single girl, for opening my heart up to finding true love but never settling for something that might have been better for someone else. I’m glad I stuck it out, thinking I was enough of a catch to wait for the most amazing person I know to snatch me up.