I was an extremely insecure teenager. I remember being so afraid that I would never find someone with whom I would be happy and to whom I would get married.
Looking back, I realize my fears were unreasonable. If I could go back in time and give myself one piece of advice, here’s what I would have said. To be blunt: Believe that you will find true love.
At 17-years old, the last thing on your mind should be the fear of never finding someone who wants to marry you. Give yourself some credit and trust that you are a good enough person that you will someone truly wonderful to fall in love with.
Your biggest failure right now is not believing that you will find someone. That’s an insult to yourself. This mindset is causing you to place too much pressure on the relationship you are in right now. The worst thing you can do is force a relationship to work or settle out of fear that it’s “the best you can do.”
So stop being afraid. People don’t make good relationship choices when they are afraid. Fear will keep you in unhealthy relationships. Fear will also lead you to settle for a relationship that is not one you want. I’m not saying this to scare you. I’m saying this to tell you what I have felt these fears do to me.
This isn’t the best you can do. You can do a lot better. The fears you have of being alone stem from a lack of confidence in yourself and also a lack of vision. Believing that you are “date-able” and that there is someone out there that will contribute to your peace of heart are the first steps to creating a foundation for lasting happiness.
Choosing to believe in love and rejecting fear can be scary at first. It means placing trust in yourself and the goodness of other people. It means being vulnerable and open to hurt. It also means being open to a love you couldn’t have otherwise.
When the love of your life finally arrives, you’ll be pleasantly surprised. So relax and be happy to be on this journey, even if it is frustrating. The love that grows will be new, but strangely familiar to you. It’s familiar because you will find that it’s exactly what you have been searching for this whole time. Start searching for love by believing it’s out there.