I Know Relationships Take Work, But Should It Be This Hard?

In college I dated a guy who should have been perfect for me. We were attracted to each other, shared similar interests, and many of the same goals in life. The problem wasn’t that we had our arguments and often failed in communication—that’s normal. The problem was that it never got easier.

Eight months later we found ourselves faced with the reality that this was just simply not going to work, and we broke it off.

3150017557_a18d71208f_zThe break up was painful, but I’ll never forget my older brother wisely telling me that “dating is supposed to be easy,” and that I should hold out for someone who made dating a joyful experience.

What is that supposed to look like? I had no idea. But I liked the sound of it and resolved that my next relationship would be “easy”—whatever the heck that meant.

When I met my current boyfriend, I immediately recognized that something was different. I couldn’t get over how easy the relationship was. Giving and sacrificing for him was a joy, and vice versa. Make no mistake, we still have to work at our relationship. We still have our  arguments and failures at communication. But the difference is that I have found someone who really understands me, someone who can pull me out of myself, help me to laugh at frustrations, and learn from my mistakes.

Don’t get me wrong, love takes hard work. But the level of exertion you feel depends on the kind of person you’re with. You shouldn’t have to force it if it’s right. When you’ve found the right person, then suddenly the hard work and sacrifice assumes a joyful tone and the burden isn’t as heavy. 

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