Being A Better Man Starts On The Honeymoon

I got married knowing that marriage would be a challenge, but I didn’t realize what being “challenged” would really require of me—and I definitely didn’t think it would begin day one of our honeymoon.

But it did. We weren’t even at our final honeymoon destination yet and I had to tell my wife that I accidentally spent $250 that we didn’t have. My wife, Kara, had taken care of our rental car reservation online, but when we picked it up they added insurance to the rental, which wasn’t necessary and doubled the cost.

Adam & Kara 039I hate making waves, so I quietly swiped my card and walked slowly to the car. Kara could sense things didn’t go as planned at the counter, but as a new husband I just wanted her to let me handle it and get going. I thought if I could just hush her and block her view, hopefully we could move on without incident. Kara generously waited to get to the car before the interrogation began, which went something like this:

“Did I overhear the lady say the car cost more than the quote online?”
“Yeah, like $250 dollars more” I replied.
“WHAT!?! How? That’s not right, get back in there!” At this point Kara began to reach for her online receipt.
“It just sort of happened, something about insurance…” I said.
“This receipt says nothing about insurance. Adam, get out of this car and get that fee taken off.”
“But, I don’t… I mean…” I was trying to find a way to weasel my way out of this one.
“We’re not paying it,” Kara stated.
“I can’t just…”
“Go. Back. In.”

At this point I knew I’d either have an angry wife or an angry employee, so I sheepishly went back in to plead my case. Removing the fee was actually pretty painless, it seemed like they knew it was a scam and didn’t mind getting called out. It’s a good thing too, because Kara later said if we had paid for insurance she would have made me drive the car into a tree on the last day.

Before getting married I don’t think I’ve ever argued over a hidden fee or unexpected charge, but since being married to Kara I’ve had to do so on multiple occasions. Her no nonsense personality has saved us a lot of money, but more importantly it’s made me grow.

And I think that’s one of the things I love most about being married to Kara. She challenges me in all sorts of ways, every day, and I hope that I do the same for her. It makes me grow, and at times growth hurts, but it’s always good for us. To me, that’s one of the most important things about love. It’s not always mushy feelings and sweaty palms. Love is often a gentle—or not so gentle—challenge, an invitation to do something more. It’s a call to growth which always leaves us better than we came. Thank you Kara for demanding the best of me, because even when I don’t like it, I know deep down that’s who I want to be!

Adam

Adam is a proud Iowan who loves to read, be outside, and wrestle with his son.He’s a part of iBiL because he thinks when we stand up for what’s good in the world, amazing things happen.
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