How To Know If He’s The One

Finding “The One.”  It’s a pretty important decision to make.  After all, you are choosing the person with whom you will spend the rest of your life.

I remember asking myself before I got married: How do you know if he is really and truly the one for you? Eight years ago my husband and I said, “I do.”  I was as certain then as I am now that he was and is the right man for me. How could I know this?  Can anyone really know for sure that they have met the right partner for a life-long commitment?

One of my friends knew when I was dating my future husband that I was struggling over the  question of how to know whether or not the man I loved was “The One” for me.  My friend asked me, “Are you running the same race?” I was puzzled at first. I thought to myself, We’re talking about love here, why are you throwing sports in the mix?  

But my friend had been married for more than 15 years and was probably the happiest man I knew. He had the type of relationship  I wanted, so I figured I should take his question seriously.  So I asked him, “What do you mean, the same race?”

He then explained that life is like a race: Each of us is created with  talents that will help us run on a particular path until we reach the finish line.  So he asked me again—“Are you running the same race?”  This time he added, “Does he pull you away from the track?  Does your relationship with this man slow you down or put you on another race track?”

I then understood completely. When I think about why my previous relationships didn’t work out, I can now see that we were not running the same race. Those other guys may have had wonderful goals.  But they weren’t my goals.   We were made to run different paths. It didn’t make sense for me to get on their race track or for them to jump on mine.

I knew what my goals were. I could see clearly that the man I loved was not in any way pulling me off this course. In fact, he was on it too.  With so much joy and relief, I answered my friend’s question: “Yes, we are running the same race.”

This is not to say that my husband and I are clones.  We are quite different from one another.  I think most couples are.  His stride may be more calculated, and he prefers Nikes. My gait is more bouncy and I wear Mizunos.  However, our values and code of living are the same.  We are reaching for the same goal; we race for the same prize.

Despite the countless uncertainties in this world, I believe that you can know if a person is right for you if you stay on track. It took 25 years, but my husband and I finally caught up with each other. We will be running the last leg of our journey together to the finish line.

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