Is love the way a guy lightly pushes back that strand of unruly hair and tucks it behind your ear? Is it that feeling of wanting to spend every minute of your time with that person? I don’t know, I spent every minute of my day with my ex and, let me tell you, it was never sunshine and daisies.
I was miserable with my ex. I wasn’t getting the attention that I so desperately wanted and felt like he didn’t care. I never felt attractive enough for him. I stayed because I thought I loved him, but now I think I just stayed because I didn’t want to be alone.
How do you know if someone really loves you? To me this is a tough question. I have looked for love for a long time, but apparently in all the wrong places. Since I was a young teen I’ve hardly ever been single. I’ve moved from one relationship to the next—but I’m still not sure what love really is, or if I’ve ever experienced true love. When I think of love, I feel like it is this supernatural force that nobody will ever fully understand.
Is love simply the attraction to one another? Could it really just be pheromones that one person gives off and another person picks up on? I’m not sure, but I think that love is probably more than that. I think it means thinking of the other person’s needs before your own or caring for someone so much that you would rather have something bad happen to yourself than to see the other person hurt or in pain. At least that’s how I feel about my children. I would throw myself under a bus before I’d let anything bad happen to my kids. The love I have for my kids is the most pure, unconditional, self-sacrificing love I can imagine. But I’ve never had that kind of love in a romantic relationship.
But I guess that’s where I’m at right now with love. I have no idea how to tell if someone loves me, or if I love someone else. One of these days I will have it figured out, but for now I’m content to be alone, sorting through these questions and loving my kids the best I can.
Have you ever felt this way about love? What do you think love is?