I remember one particular night, my husband and I were sitting on our porch with our chairs facing each other, just talking about anything and everything that came into our minds, and I had a very special moment.
I love my husband very much, and every time I look at him it makes me happy. But there are those special moments when I am completely overwhelmed by how blessed I am to have him in my life.
I had one of those moments when we were sitting together on our front porch.
Because we were already having our uninterrupted time, I knew it was the perfect time to express how I was feeling. So I shared my heart with him:
“You are my absolute best friend, and the kids and I are the winners in all of this. I know you say you are the lucky one, but in reality, we are. The kids have the best dad and I have the best husband we could have ever hoped for.”
That was how I ended this moment of sharing my heart. I could see the emotion in his face. The joy to the point of tears!
He told me: “You have no idea how much it means to me to hear that. I need to hear that. There are so many days I am so tired and exhausted but I push myself because I love you and the kids. For you to acknowledge it means more to me than you know. Even though I know you think it, saying it helps me get through these tough times.”
I wasn’t expecting my words to mean so much to him. I just didn’t think my husband really needed encouragement from me. My husband has always been big on physical touch. It sounds silly now that I say it out loud, but I really thought giving him back rubs would make him just as happy, and he didn’t need to verbal affirmation from me. It really shocked me that my husband—as much as he loves his back massages—needs affirming words even more.
I guess I never realized the impact words can have on a person, especially a man, because growing up I was always told “talk is cheap” and “actions speak louder than words.” The guys in my family never acted like they cared about or needed verbal affirmation. So growing up, I always thought that girls care about words more than guys. I just assumed that doing things for my husband meant more to him than affirming words.
But after our recent “porch time” conversation, my perspective on how to approach my husband has totally changed. I am more conscious now of what I am—and am not—saying to him. I make a point to verbalize my gratitude when he does something sweet, or when he helps me with something.
That night I learned that no matter how long you are married or how well you think you know your spouse, you can always learn more about each other. That special moment has encouraged me to continue to have our quality time so we can continue to grow.