iBiL Pro-Tip #1: Getting On The Same Side

Dating is becoming more difficult.  I don’t think it is imagined, I think it is real.  You even from time to time hear about the death of dating.

Photo credit: Thethingsilearnedfrom.com
Photo credit: Thethingsilearnedfrom.com

Perfectly normal people will for some reason — who knows why — when they are on a first or second or even third date get all stiff and argumentative.  They don’t even treat the other person as they would a normal friend.

Why? More and more young single people, especially if you left home for college or your parents divorced, don’t have the kind of daily, sustained emotional, financial and other support home town family, extended family and friends gave to each other a generation or two ago.  If this describes you and your friends, these changes have affected dating culture, and not for the better.

How to cope?  On your next tense date, imagine in your mind, you and this woman are on the same side of some problem.   Both of you are trying to solve a problem or accomplish something together, even though you are virtual strangers to each other.

Photo credit: Deathandtaxesmag.com
Photo credit: Deathandtaxesmag.com

Like everything else, you have to keep a sense of proportion about the whole thing.  The problem you imagine solving together cannot be – on your first or second date – we will find each other instantly as soulmates and be happily every after.  (Soulmate is a strange word anyway). Be reasonable. Be on the same side about something kind of normal and manageable, OK? Start simple, like spending a couple of fun hours together.

Dating is becoming more difficult.  But like everything else, there are going to be people who adapt, find ways to survive and be happy. Be one of those guys.

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