The Love I Never Thought I’d Have

“Can I see you again in three weeks?”

My new boyfriend Jamie asked me this after he had come to my hometown for a visit over Labor Day weekend in 2009. We met on a dating site and lived ten hours from each other. Of course I said yes, I would not have minded if he had visited every weekend! (My family who I lived with might have, though!)

I was the girl who always felt overlooked by guys. I thought that something was wrong with me. Before I met him, I honestly thought love wasn’t for me.

I was so excited that he wanted to see me again!

It wasn’t a breeze to make sure we were together at least one weekend a month. It was a struggle as we had to juggle school schedules, work schedules, drives, and money for gas or plane tickets. But it was a priority and somehow, it always worked out where we got just enough time and money to be together.

When Jaime made such an effort to spend as much time as possible with me, I was very surprised.

He could have just said it wasn’t going to work with his school schedule, or settled for someone closer to home, or refused to get serious with anyone so far away. But he didn’t. He wanted to be with me.

Between our visits, I looked forward to our phone calls each day. We’d talk about our day, politics, how work was going, anything and everything that was on our minds. What we spoke about didn’t matter so much to me; it was that he found me an enjoyable person and wanted to spend time together any way possible.

Coming to see me in person was a special gift that he gave me that told me, “You are special enough for me to drive 10 hours for time together.” He made me feel so valued, more than any other relationship in my past.

His love helped me love myself. As I fell in love with him, I learned that I was okay—lovable—just the way I was. I became at peace with what made me, me.

The man who is now my husband gave me a great gift in loving me—self-confidence. When times are tough and I doubt who I am, I only need to look beside me. My doubt vanishes.

Mary T
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