Hookup Heartache Makes Guys Fall to Pieces Too


Scanning through the radio one beautiful summer day, I became consumed by a popular country song by Dierks Bentley called ‘Different for Girls.’ He sang that women, unlike men, cannot just go back to life as if nothing happened after a hookup:

It’s different for girls when their hearts get broke

They can’t tape it back together with a whiskey and Coke

They don’t take someone home and act like it’s nothing

They can’t just switch it off every time they feel something

A guy gets drunk with his friends and he might hook up

Fast forward through the pain, pushing back when the tears come on

But it’s different for girls

However, I know from personal experience that men and women alike are hurt when things don’t go as well as we hope with someone else. Humans need fulfilling, intimate relationships. Our lives will be empty if we aren’t sharing love with other people, whether we find that bond in friendships or romantic relationships.

The men and women I have talked to want something more than what much of the current so-called dating scene has to offer. I had a conversation with one guy who talked about his casual hookups with girls like they were no big deal, but who later lamented about how much he missed the girl he was with for 5 years before they broke up. And one girl described how hard it was to work up the strength to leave her turbulent on-and-off again relationship with a guy who wasn’t ready to commit to her.

Casual relationships might seem an easy, noncommittal way to fulfill our desires, but they ultimately cheapen the needs of the heart. I wish I knew how to heal the heartache many people experience, but I don’t know how because I feel broken too. What I can offer is real love and real friendship- something that the modern hookup culture doesn’t offer.

I may like listening to the catchy, country songs that talk about cheap love, but I wish these types of relationships that can only end in heartbreak were not the reality for so many people. I realize that many differences exist between men and women. But when it comes to long-lasting relationships, I don’t think there’s a difference– everyone needs to love and be loved.

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