Hope For The Single Girl

single

As a girl in her early-mid-twenties, being single can seem bleak. I’ve been told by many that I’m lucky because I’m free and can really set out to do whatever it is I want to do. I have no ties, nothing to hold me back from traveling the world.  (Although, being a teacher doesn’t really fund the whole “wanderlust” dream.)

Despite this beautiful freedom, sometimes I have a hard time really believing that it’s all it’s cracked up to be. The majority of my friends are either in serious relationships, engaged, or married (some with a baby on the way). This is beautiful. And I try to be both sincerely happy for them and also content in my own current place in life. There’s nothing I hate more than a single person who drones on about their loneliness.

But sometimes the dating world can be daunting.

I don’t consider myself very picky; I can like genuinely anyone. However, I rarely share my feelings, either because they aren’t strong enough to confess, or because I want to avoid conflict at all costs. As I recently wrote, I told a longtime friend that I had feelings for him, and it didn’t work out like I expected it to. Needless to say, I wasn’t pleased and the marriage/love thing that many of my friends were enjoying became even more of a sore subject.

I was still nursing this heartbreak a few months later when I went to a friend’s wedding. Many of my close friends were in attendance, the bride and groom were stunning, and the ceremony brought many to tears. There I was, sitting by many friends, yet feeling all alone, and I thought to myself, “Is this ever going to happen for me?”

This carried on for a little longer, until I had a serious talk with one of my best friends who is (shocker) married. I had spent the past two years liking this guy, and I was speaking to her about how I really thought this was different, how I couldn’t believe that I was so wrong when I believed it was so right.

She also had an experience of a two-year relationship she genuinely believed was meant to be. Their breakup caused her a tremendous amount of heartbreak which seemed like it would never end. Yet, three(ish) years later, here she was: happy as can be, with another man who is her husband.

She had been through a terrible ordeal, she spent time on her own to realize more about herself, and then, eventually met someone new. Now she’s married to a man whom she loves. Watching this progression gave me hope for my own future, and taught me to appreciate where I am now, a place where I can grow and become who I am on my own.

My friends’ relationships have become less of a reminder of what I don’t have, and more of a reminder of what I will have, if I have trust that life has good things in store for me. 

Olivia

Olivia is an extreme extrovert that hails from Kansas City, but is currently living in Manhattan, KS while working on her M.A. in French Literature. She loves to read, write,and buy more clothes and coffee than her budget allows, while binge-eating twizzlers. She is a part of I Believe in Love because she wants to women and men to know the kind of relationships they are worthy of.
Olivia

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