How I Prepared For My Engagement

My fiancé and I got engaged two months ago. Like most engagements, it was a combination of joy, tears, and laughter. But unlike most brides, I knew exactly when and where I was going to get engaged, and since my fiancé and I had designed the ring together, I even knew what the ring looked like. Why did we choose to do it this way? Because it gave me time to mentally, spiritually, and emotionally prepare for the biggest commitment of my life.

photo by Shannon Lee Miller
photo by Shannon Lee Miller

So what is this preparation? Well, if you’ve been reading my previous articles, you’ll find it’s closely intertwined with dating. Thinking of marriage as the most pivotal merger of my life, I made it a point to see my fiancé in every circumstance that was important to me. That meant I saw him interact with my family, we made financial decisions together, prayed together, and helped each other through moments of personal trial. I knew I wanted to marry him well before we even discussed engagement.

And then we discussed it. And then it got real.

Suddenly, we were in a jeweler shop designing a ring together, and then suddenly he picked out our engagement day, and the countdown began. And it was this countdown that was one of the most important parts of our dating.

During this time, I made it a crucial point to think about what I was committing to one last time before our engagement. Refusing to let the romantic whirlwind of an engagement interfere with the reality of what engagement is—a pledge of your life to another- I walked through the following check list:

  • Am I ready for this life commitment?
  • Am I ready to say yes to raising children with this man?
  • Am I ready to love and trust him through all life’s situations and circumstances?
  • Am I ready to sacrifice my needs and desires for the welfare of my future spouse and family?

By the time our engagement day came, I was absolutely 100% sure of my desire to say a confident yes to every question. I knew I wanted to marry my fiancé because I really knew my fiancé.

We had gone through so much together, had carefully crafted our dating so that we would always look forward and never backward, and I knew that the man who was about to kneel before me was the best man I had ever met and the one I wanted to give myself to.

And then suddenly he was kneeling before me asking for my hand. And suddenly I said yes—both to him, and the commitment of marriage.


Although a Michigan girl at heart, Mary resides in Virginia and is slowly learning the ways of southern living. Striving daily to find the extraordinary in the ordinary, she enjoys good coffee, the Great Lakes, and having seven siblings. Mary is part of iBiL because she believes that love is the soul of the world, and it is meant to be shared with others.
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