About a month ago, my husband Adam and I traveled a few hours from home to spend the weekend with some close friends and their families. I was looking forward to it for weeks – the fun, the laughter, the stories, the chance to take a break! It just knew it was going to be awesome!
Yet, as the weekend wore on I didn’t find myself feeling as uplifted as I expected and wasn’t really sure why. I was definitely having fun, but something was eating at me. I became irritable and snapped more than once at my husband. While I wrestled with all these emotions that Saturday, I watched the other wives playfully chat as they took care of their spouses. My girlfriends exchange winks, hugs, kisses and flirty glances with their husbands.
“My friends are all such awesome wives,” I thought to myself, “too bad Adam ended up with me.”
That evening, it finally dawned on me what was bothering me. It wasn’t that my friends were such awesome wives and I’m not – we’re all doing a great job. It was that I was experiencing the fear of not living up to what I think my husband deserves.
Adam is such an amazing man. He deserves my best. There are many times when I fail to live up to that standard and this gets me down.
As we drove home the next day, we spent a lot of time talking through my insecurities, where they come from and what I could do in the future to not let myself succumb to them.
A lot of my frustrations and fears often come when we find ourselves putting our relationship on autopilot because we get too overwhelmed with the responsibilities we take on. The month prior to the trip had been super busy for us and we had allowed ourselves to get distracted, failing to connect as much as we should have. Thankfully, the drive was a great opportunity to talk about our relationship, where we wanted to be and what we needed to do to get there.
We reaffirmed our need to spend quality time together and to take the time to share what is on our hearts. It was also a great opportunity to talk about our need for words of affirmation – that I need to hear that I am being a wonderful wife and that he, too, needs to hear what a wonderful husband he is.
As we pulled into our driveway, I had a greater appreciation for my husband, as well as all of the hard work we’ve put into our marriage to get this far. I am more confident that as the years go by, we’ll only keep doing better and better at loving each other.
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