How Spending Time Together Makes A Stronger Commitment

This past weekend, I was standing in line waiting for two coffees – one for me and one for my husband–the customer ahead of me was talking to the barista about his upcoming trip to South America with a woman he is dating. Obviously, I couldn’t help but listen in.

Shea_togethernessThe customer was speaking about how he had already warned this girl that there would be days where he would leave her in the morning to do his own touring and then they can meet for dinner or something. Right, he actually said, “or something.” Huh, I thought, that is so not the vacation I would want or a guy I would want to date.

“It’s not healthy to spend all of your time together,” he went on to tell the barista, who kept agreeing with him. I wanted to butt in and ask him, why are you even travelling with this girl if you don’t want to spend all of your time with her? From the two-minute conversation I overheard, it didn’t sound like there was much commitment on his end. It sounded more like he was using her as an accessory – some girl to fill his time when he’s bored.

Okay, okay. I might have jumped to a lot of conclusions in a short amount of time. But I think, when you’re in a relationship, one of the key elements should be that you enjoy spending time with one another. Before my husband and I even dated, we were friends for five years. I’m not saying it should happen like that in everyone’s story, but you should know that you enjoy his or her company. You should want to be in their presence, whether you are actually talking or just walking hand-in-hand. Vacations together are a retreat away from every day life – to see another place– but also to be even more within one another’s company. As Kara explained in her post, this time together also helps you grow – refined to become a better version of yourself.

Yes – I do think that you and your significant other, whether dating, engaged or married, have different hobbies, different interests, and even some different friends. This helps you be your own person, and not so engrossed in the other that you forget who you are. But, the more time I spend with my husband, the more time I want to spend with him. And I think that is healthy.

Anyway, that’s what I wanted to tell that customer in the coffee shop.


Shea lives in Minnesota with her husband and first baby. She loves to make big meals for friends, enjoy a glass of wine, run outside in all seasons, and escape to the beach in the summer. Shea is a part of I Believe in Love, because she wants to share the beauty of life and love in the everyday.
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How Spending Time Together Makes A Stronger Commitment

This past weekend, I was standing in line waiting for two coffees...
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1 Comment

  • You could still go back to the barista, get into a conversation with her, and subtly share your thoughts. It might even be well-received, but even if not, it would be a kindness to her.

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