There’s a beautiful woman I’m itching to take out on a date for the first time, so it’s time to game plan. I don’t know about you, but a first date can be a something of a wild card—you never quite know how it’s going to go.
Problem is, there is a lot riding on a first date, because, like it or not, date number one can make or break your chance with a woman—so I make a serious effort not to mess it up. Of course, there’s always going to be variables (which is part of what makes it fun), but I’ve found that there are a few simple things you can do to make a first date a successful one. Follow these five simple steps if you’re wondering how to treat a woman on a first date.
01. Have a plan, and stick to it.
Once I had asked a girl if she wanted to play tennis, and then maybe get a bite to eat after. Well, I called her right before our date and asked her if she still wanted to play tennis. To my surprise, she interpreted that last minute phone call as me not being sure that I even wanted to see her that night. It didn’t help that I forgot when I was supposed to pick her up (PS: don’t do that). I then spent the first half of the date feeling like I had to make up for my mistakes, including taking her to a nicer (read: more expensive) restaurant.
I know it sounds simple, but taking the time to make a plan ahead of time—and filling her in on the plan ahead of time—can go a long way towards making sure everything goes smoothly. Not only will it help you to know what to do next, but it can really put your date at ease as well.
02. A good date doesn’t need to be expensive.
If you think you have to spend a lot of money on a woman in order to impress her, I’m here to tell you that this is just not true. And it would be a mistake to think that’s all it takes. Believe it or not, a single rose can be just as effective as a dozen roses. A neighborhood restaurant is going to likely have just as good of food with way more charm than fancier places elsewhere. And some of the most romantic things you can do with a woman don’t cost anything—like a nice walk, for instance. Thoughtful gestures and a little bit of planning go much farther with women then shelling out a lot of cash, or so I’m told.
03. Temper your drinking.
This can be a tricky one, who doesn’t want the benefit of a little alcohol to relax the nerves when sitting down with someone new? But drinking too much on a date can be a risky proposition.
For example, I once went out with a woman who was the complete package: even more fun and sweet than I could have hoped (and just as pretty), and we had similar interests and values and all the rest. Every time we met up we always had a great time, and the interest seemed very mutual. It also just so happened that we seemed to have a few drinks on every date, and neither of us cared for weak cocktails.
So what was the problem? Well, she was just coming off a long relationship, and was a bit unsure about starting a new one. Since our dates always seemed to include a level of intoxication, she wondered if what we had was real, or if it was just an escape of sorts. Meanwhile, I wasn’t paying all that much attention, because I was half-drunk (or more) all the time. Ultimately, the relationship ended before it really ever started. As nice as it may be to cut loose with the help of a little alcohol on a first date, it’s probably a good idea to ease up on the booze and see if you can have a good time together without getting tipsy.
04. Sex can wait.
You may be thinking, “Even if it could, who in the right mind would want to delay it?” Good question. Well, here’s a newsflash for you: women want to delay it, that’s who. Believe it or not, women want to see that you’re after more than just sex. And a great way for a man to show that to her is a first date that doesn’t require it.
I’m not saying women don’t want sex. But put yourself in her shoes for a second: every last sumbitch who’s come calling has seemingly had only one thing on his mind. She might even dread the idea of a first date simply because she’s too often expected to “put out” in exchange for dinner and a few drinks.
But then comes along a guy who picks her up at her door, hands her a rose, takes her to a nice dinner, maybe even a nice late evening walk, drops her back off at the door, and… the end. All the while he’s complimentary, listening, flirtatious but not over the top, and it’s clear the only thing on his mind is… showing her a good time. She can’t remember the last time she was made to feel like a princess and without any sense that he’s simply looking for some action. Believe me, he’ll make an impression.
You don’t have to accomplish everything on a first date. In fact, that’s not even what it’s for. Remember: it’s called a first date for a reason. In other words, the goal of a first date is simply to get to the second. As the all-wise Hitch once said (and it always comes back to the movie Hitch), “Just remember, she is already out with you. So that means it is no longer your job to try to make her like you. It is your job not to mess it up.” Just be thoughtful, intentional, and make it a point to show that you actually like her, and not just what you can get from her. Do that, and you can’t go wrong.