I have recently come to figure out that I am my own worst enemy. What I mean is, I am the only one that can change my life and for a while I chose not to. I complained about a lot of the negative things going on in my life, but did nothing to change them. I have always wanted my kids to have a better life than I have had, but I was not doing anything to really change that. Now I am.
My breakup with my boyfriend of four year finally made me realize that I needed to make a change. Our relationship ended because my trust was broken, a trust that should never be broken. This time it wasn’t cheating or talking to other girls, but something that he did physically. The details don’t matter, except to say that it and it made me realize how important it is for me to take responsibility for my own life.
Since the break up I have come to find myself gradually. I am learning everyday that I am the only one that can change my life. I’m the one that chose to stay in a bad relationship for so long, who didn’t do anything to better our lives, and now I’m the one who is going to change all that.
As a single mother of two children I really need to step up and be the mother and teacher I’m supposed to be. But, between struggling to find work and reliable childcare, I know it won’t be easy. I did try to work, but it did not work out because I couldn’t find reliable child care during the hours I needed it. I was trying to apply for county day care, but they said it would take 30 days to process my application.
For now, I do have child support coming in from my daughter’s dad which helps, and I’m focusing on some other priorities in my life, like establishing a routine for my children and growing in my faith. I have started saying bedtime prayers with my kids and my son asks a lot of questions about God and Heaven. I’m not always sure what to say to him because I have had some of those questions myself. So I’ve been getting involved in church and trying to meet people who can help me answer those questions.
I know now that I have the power to change my life for the better. I am the one that makes the decisions and will for now on try to make the best of them.