A few people in my life showed me love and how to love. One of them is my maternal grandmother.
She’s the one that first showed me love. She made me feel important, like I was the only one in the world. She would sit down and listen to what I had to say and how I felt about my mother and father getting divorced. My feelings mattered to her, and she told me that they were important to recognize. She said that both of my parents should take into consideration how I felt, and helped me to figure out how I should share my feelings with them.
My grandmother taught me about a lot about life and other people. She showed me just how much family mattered. She was always there for me when I needed her, and I was always there for her when she needed me.
And the same is true for the rest of my family. When my mother was going through her second divorce my grandmother showed me how to be there for someone not only physically but mentally as well. She showed me how the right person can make you feel like nothing else in the world matters, and how much showing your love matters. She showed me how it much means to have the support of family, friends, or just someone there that does care. Someone who can inspire you to do the things that you need to do to get your life back to where it needs to be.
I will never forget the day I lost her. I was at a friend’s house when I received the phone call saying that she passed away. I immediately got into my car and raced back to my mother’s house so I could be there for her and so I could be around family and not out and about dealing with this loss by myself.
She meant so much to me, and I lost almost all hope in happiness after she passed. Not only was she my grandma but she was my closest friend. She was my rock and the glue that kept me together for everything. I could always talk to her no matter how bad any situation was or who was at fault.
Then I got married and we had a beautiful baby girl on the way. I thought this was it; I thought I found the one. But we didn’t stay together very long, and after watching the marriage with the person I thought was my forever fall apart, I found myself back to where I was when I was coping with my grandma’s passing. I lost all hope and became very depressed.
But I thank God every day now that he showed me just how wrong I really was. I was able to heal because I found love from my family and friends. Because even when I had nothing I couldn’t really say I didn’t have anything—I always had family and friends that I could turn to help me get through those things that sometimes you can’t get through on your own. And when you have family and true friends, you should never have to go through anything on your own.
I was able to heal from these losses because I experienced my grandma’s resolve. She had showed me that no matter how bad things get, you can always rebuild yourself back up to being the person you were –or even greater than you were before. Because when you lose so much, you want to make yourself better not only for the people you love, but for yourself as well. Because of the love that my grandmother first gave me, and that I then received from family and friends, I was able to keep loving. And that’s why I believe in love.
So, instead of letting all the losses I experienced destroy me, I learned to grow from them and turn into a better person. I want to love like my grandma did. I want to be a good father. I want to try to care for others as much as I do about myself, if not more than I do for myself! I want to try to show others that they are not on their own, that there are people in this world that will stop and try to help them—even if the person trying to help is not in the best shape or situations himself.