So much can be said for those spouses who support each other through thick and thin. Every marriage needs not one, but two, cheerleaders and I would like to tell you about mine.
My cheerleader is Victor and he has been my husband for seven years. The reason Victor’s support is so meaningful to me is because I often don’t believe in for myself.
For as long as I can remember, I have always feared failure. I honestly don’t know why. It was certainly not due to any lack of parental support in my childhood. In fact, I can remember my mother supporting me in some crazy adventures. The most outlandish of these endeavors was a plan hatched by my sister and myself to build a parachute and jump from the roof of our house. Mom did not discourage us in the least. I can still remember the serious look on her face as she listened to our plan. She confidently went to the linen closet and pulled out some sheets for us to use for our parachute. The rest she left up to us.
My mother expressed extreme confidence in her children’s abilities even in the face of the impossible. But for whatever reason, my propensity to doubt myself is a thorn that continues to jab at me in my adult life. I have countless ideas, goals and dreams, but I find it extremely difficult to act on any of them because I fear they will end in failure.
That’s where Victor steps in. He listens to my ventures, haphazard though many of them may be, and he offers his all-out support. Take, for example, my vision to run my own martial arts gym. My former karate master told me he thought I could make a go of it. I drafted a plan and Victor believed in it. But then I got scared.
What if someone comes to my gym and knows more than me? What if somebody falls and breaks their neck? What if the gym isn’t big enough? I came up with every reason in the world why I could suddenly not pursue this dream.
One day Victor came home from work with a professional size hanging kick-bag. This gesture said so much more than just “I bought you a piece of equipment for your gym.” It said, “I believe in you.” That act of confidence was like a cheerleader shouting that he was on my team and this shot of mine was going to make it.
The karate gym did make it. It didn’t bring us our fortune, but it did help some local kids learn how to deal with bullies. My first goal for the karate gym was to supplement our income. As it turned out, the program turned a different kind of profit—a lasting one. Those students not only learned some self-defense, but they also learned a little bit about character and the confidence that often eludes me.
Now, in case you’re wondering, my sister and I never did jump off the roof that summer. But I will never forget how valuable I felt when my mom believed that I could. As for what I can accomplish as a wife? Well, as long as I can hear my cheerleader, sky’s the limit.
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