The other night I was driving home and decided to flip through some stations on the radio. I landed on one where two radio hosts were discussing what happens when a couple breaks up.
The male DJ was laughing about how great it is to be the guy who finds a girl just out of a relationship because all you have to do is “act sympathetic and say ‘I’ve only known you for a short time, but I don’t know what that guy was thinking, you’re an amazing girl!’ and then just watch those panties come down.”
At first I told myself that I must have misheard him, that he really wasn’t laughing about taking advantage of brokenhearted women by telling them whatever they wanted to hear in order to get in their beds.
Then the female DJ chimed in:
“I get jealous of women who just got divorced because I KNOW in six months they’re going to look amazing. I mean, they’ll instantly lose like 10 pounds.”
I guess there is a reason why they are called shock jocks, but what they said really got under my skin. Their “jokes” weren’t funny, they were bitter.
It was like not being able to tear my eyes away from an accident, but this time it was my ears.
When I finally did come to my senses and changed the station, I thought about what I’d like to share with them about love.
First off, relationships—especially with those who are recently brokenhearted—should be focused on what you can give to the other person, not what you can get. It’s not about seeing what I can take from you or about my own pleasure. It’s about what is best for the whole person. It’s about treating others with the same respect and courtesy you want in return. Do you want to be loved for who you are and not for what you can give? Then you must strive to love others in that way, too. You can’t expect to treat someone as an “item” and not be treated the same way in return.
To hear them rejoice at a broken heart or being jealous of a person after a failed relationship doesn’t help anyone.
I wish the DJs would have used their platform to build up love instead of tearing it down, to encourage listeners that true love is possible.
I wish they would have shown sorrow for marriages that fail, but also talk about how beautiful and inspiring it is when a couple not only “makes it,” but flourishes.
For those who are dealing with the sorrow of a breakup or divorce, we need to mourn with them. For those in marriages that can be saved, we need to encourage them to keep fighting, to not give up.
Listening that night reminded me how difficult it is to convince others that real love is possible. We need to make couples feel that their love is affirmed and supported. We need to cheer them on through both the ups and downs of life. We need to show them why they can believe in love.
- When You’re Jealous of Other People’s Relationships Over the Holidays - December 19, 2017
- Signs He’s Not Worth It - November 21, 2017
- What I Need in a Relationship Isn’t Prince Charming - October 24, 2017