I Love Him Because He Loved Me First

I love my husband because he first loved me. That may sound unromantic, but as I learned, it’s quite the opposite! We met through mutual friends Thanksgiving of 2007. My husband was doing an internship in my hometown and I was visiting home after a difficult first semester of college with no idea that my life was about to change forever.

Christina and her husband.
Christina and her husband.

We talked, and found we had so many things in common. This caught my husband’s attention. Me? Well, I thought I just found a fun guy to talk to. But this guy was quick on his feet, and soon after my return to college, sent me a casual email. I returned it… and before you knew it, we were dating. I liked the guy – his tastes, desires, inspirations, and dreams were so similar to mine that I couldn’t help liking him. But love him? I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know it, but he loved me even before we started dating, and that knowledge became a key influence in my decision to love him in return.

We continued to date long distance, but I had doubts. I was afraid of the sincerity of his love – afraid that I couldn’t give it back. Oh, trust me: I was in angst for months and months over this! Why could I not love a man who loved me so completely; so utterly, that even in the midst of grueling health problems I had accumulated, he remained faithful, constant, and an ever-watchful guardian over my fears as he assuaged them day after day, night after night?

I couldn’t believe this guy! What kind of man would stand by my side, helping me through my doubts, sacrificing his time and energy, just to help me sleep at night? What kind of guy would occasionally write me hand-written letters “just-because?” (We were still dating long distance, and we visited one another every other weekend.) What kind of guy, would tell me he loved me when I was at my worst, and assure me of his commitment when I wavered?

After a few months, I realized that this man was showing me something unique – something not found very often amongst the ranks of young men and women searching furiously for a lasting love, not knowing what to look for, and not knowing what to give. But my husband knew, and I knew he knew, and I saw that he was a single star in the black heavens – shining brightly and beautifully just for me.

My husband’s sacrifice, his actions, his day by day commitment and words of affirmation and adoration told me that his love was something I could count on for the rest of my life, and his character was one of utmost loyalty and dedication. Of course, no one is perfect, but I realized that he was a remarkable human being, and of all people, he loved me.

I couldn’t help it – I fell in love with this man. His love convinced me that my love was safe to give. His love showed me that I could attach myself without hesitation to everything that he was, and everything that he would be. I realized that no matter what, I would return the love he so generously and wholeheartedly bestowed upon me. And I did.

After a delightful marriage of five years, I realize I deserve this man even less, and love him even more. But our story is one that will continue on as we grow old together, because out of all things, love—complete, gritty, sacrificial love—is the foundation of our relationship. I am so grateful for his love – it won my fearful heart, and I now belong to him so wholeheartedly, and so enthusiastically, that all I want to do is give back his love 100-times over. That is what he did to me. And I love it.

Christina

Christina is the founder and CEO of LiveBeautiful, a company designed to help people live out lives of beauty through interior decorating, classes on hospitality, and much more. She resides in the wilds of Colorado, and loves all things nature. She finds that inspiration can be found in the smallest of things, but most importantly, in love. She is a part of I Believe in Love because she believes that the world can be changed through love and dedication to others. Through healthy and thriving marriages, Christina thinks that there is opportunity for great influence and joy to spread among our fellow men and women.
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7 Comments

  • Wow, I stumbled across this article today and I’m in the same situation Christina was in when she met her husband. I’m 18 and there’s a young man that is so deeply in love with me and is the most loyal and wonderful person I have ever met, but I’m scared to return that love. We’re not dating officially, but we’ve known each other for 3 years and have slowly grown closer and closer to where I feel comfortable trusting him completely. We both want a relationship, but I’m hesitant because I know it would get very serious quickly, knowing our relationship, and I’m scared to lose him if things don’t work out. But this article gave me faith that he might just be the love of my life and I’d be ridiculous not to persue it.

  • I like this because I’m pursuing a girl right now and I told her I loved her first. We’ve been dating for 8 months and she finally said it back haha. I hope I have the same out come as you this is a beautiful story.

  • This was my experience, too! My husband loved me first and pursued me until I fell in love with him in return. I struggled with doubts for months, but he was so patient with me, and now we’ve been married for five happy years, too. 🙂

    • Hi Amber! What a wonderful thing to hear! Isn’t it amazing how that works? I am aware of how lucky I am to have such a dedicated man, as I’m sure you are, too! Thanks for telling me! May it continue to be a beautifully blessed marriage until “death do you part.” 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed my post!

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