I’m Still Getting to Know My Husband

One night last week, Joseph and I were getting ready for bed – brushing teeth, washing faces, etc. And, just like that, as I was lathering my face with soap, Joseph picked up the head of his toothbrush, flipped it, and caught it mid-air by the handle.

Shea_joeboat‘What was that?! I’ve never seen you do that!’ I said as I burst out laughing. ‘Are you kidding? This is how I pick up my toothbrush every night!’ he replied. ‘Really?!’ The whole scene was hilarious to me. I couldn’t stop laughing about it.

But the thing is, Joseph and I get ready for bed together almost every night. In our tiny bathroom, we move around each other, finishing out the last routine of our day. In the 925 nights that we had been married, I had never noticed this little routine. How is it that I have never noticed?

The entire scene still made me laugh the next morning, as I thought more about the surprise that took me off-guard. Many people think they know all about their spouse before they get married. Well, enough to know that they want to get married. But, then, something like the flip of a toothbrush happens. And, suddenly, you realize there are a lot of daily aspects to your spouse’s life that you somehow never noticed. And, for that, I am grateful. I am grateful that in the 925 days that we have been married, I am still laughing. I am still seeing new and delightful aspects of my husband that I did not know before.

shea_joe and babyFor every transition we go through, as we tackle every new developments in life I see him in a different light. When we got married, he became a husband. I saw a new side of his love for me as he made an effort to learn how to live together and be more vulnerable and open in our relationship. When I got pregnant and gave birth to our son, he became a father. I discovered his deep desire to provide for our family, by getting up in the middle of the night to change a diaper and calm a screaming baby, and by making our son laugh like no one else can. When we bought a house this spring, he became a homeowner. I have seen him take pride in this tangible shelter for our family, fixing leaks and painting many walls. It’s not that my husband is changing — he is definitely the same man I married — it’s that, like all people, he is growing and life and the passing of time brings out new aspects of his character.

And, as the years go on, there will be other transitions and surprises. And, through this deepening of love and relationship with one another, I will see new aspects and developments that I did not notice before. This will probably catch me delightfully off-guard and keep me smiling through our marriage.

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