I believe in Love because in deep darkness, kindness is a bright light!
Recently my husband and I experienced our worst nightmare. We lost our child in pregnancy.
The week we learned we were pregnant was the same week we learned we were losing our baby due to an ectopic pregnancy.
One day my doctor called me to give me pregnancy test results, and I was apparently already eight weeks along! My husband and I were overwhelmed with excitement and joy, but the doctor’s good news came with caution: the hormone levels were not looking too great and we would have to do some more tests.
From that phone call, we thought that we still had a chance. Even with his caution we still had a moment of hope, and anticipation. He gave us the array of possibilities: between a healthy pregnancy with a few bumps in the road, a natural miscarriage, or an ectopic pregnancy. I really wanted to hope, but was hit in the face with the reality. So I figured, it was time to pray, hope, and try to relax.
The brief time that I knew of my child I knew of true love. How it makes you want to be the best that you can be. It was during this time that I shared a deep connection and understanding with my husband, more than we have ever felt because it was an experience that only the two of us could share and understand. As the week went by and we learned that our pregnancy would end, we only had each other to hold on to. But in an unexplainable way, sharing that tragedy with my husband has brought us to a deeper level of connection with each other.
The flowers, the prayers, and the help from our family was the kindness that lit our darkness. We believe in love because we experienced it in lending a hand or listening ear that our friends provided us, and these are the things that have helped us keep going. Our family came together to help us with small things like cooking, cleaning, and even just sitting and being with us. The calls, the cards, the masses said in our name, the priests and brothers in prayer and lending a shoulder to cry on. That was what brightened our path in dark times.
I believe in love because it was in this terribly dark moment for us that we knew how strong our faith was, and how much love we have received from all our family and friends. Some days are still difficult but it is through people’s grace and kindness that has helped us to get through, and it is through darkness that God has brought the biggest blessings in my life and while I don’t understand why I’m going through this, I understand that this love I have experienced is bigger than this hardship. Even though I don’t know why, I know I am thankful for the love that was offered to us, for the love that grew in my marriage, and for the love of our beloved Linda Grace.