Hugh Hefner started Playboy magazine, he said, because he wanted to get rid of the idea that sex is either something sacred
or dirty. It’s just a “normal” part of life, he said.
In other words, sex is just like eating. We all do it. It’s natural. No big deal.
One guy, Adam, that I talked with disagrees with Hugh on this one. Adam grew up in a Christian family that taught him to wait until marriage to have sex. But when he went to college, he rejected that idea as outdated.
Even though he still thinks having premarital sex is okay and even beneficial, he also thinks that having sex before marriage carries risks. “I mean, it definitely hurts more when that relationship is over…. [I]t intensifies the relationship, it intensifies the break up.”
For Adam, sex is not just like eating. It intensifies the relationship.
Why? Because as he says, sex is “the most intimate thing you can do with another person…. [Y]ou can’t get any more intimate than that.”
Here is another way to think about it: if sex is just like eating, why aren’t people flocking to Internet sites to stare at juicy steaks? What prompts the powerful attraction to porn?
Remember the disgraced New York politician Anthony Weiner? He was willing to lay his reputation, career, and marriage on the line just to exchange sexually explicit photos on Twitter with young women he didn’t even know.
And what about the multibillion dollar sex tourism industry, in which wealthy businessmen are willing to travel from the U.S. to Thailand in order to have sex with prostitutes?
I think it’s time to retire the outdated idea that sex is just a bodily transaction of fluids. It’s so much bigger than that – for good or ill. Sex is a deeply intimate and vulnerable act that involves our whole body and soul.
I’m for whole sex – not “just sex.”