Is Sex Just Like Eating?

Hugh Hefner started Playboy magazine, he said, because he wanted to get rid of the idea that sex is either something sacred

hefneror dirty. It’s just a “normal” part of life, he said.

In other words, sex is just like eating. We all do it. It’s natural. No big deal.

One guy, Adam, that I talked with disagrees with Hugh on this one. Adam grew up in a Christian family that taught him to wait until marriage to have sex. But when he went to college, he rejected that idea as outdated.

Even though he still thinks having premarital sex is okay and even beneficial, he also thinks that having sex before marriage carries risks. “I mean, it definitely hurts more when that relationship is over…. [I]t intensifies the relationship, it intensifies the break up.”

For Adam, sex is not just like eating. It intensifies the relationship.

Why? Because as he says, sex is “the most intimate thing you can do with another person…. [Y]ou can’t get any more intimate than that.”

Good point.

Here is another way to think about it: if sex is just like eating, why aren’t people flocking to Internet sites to stare at juicy steaks?  What prompts the powerful attraction to porn?

Remember the disgraced New York politician Anthony Weiner? He was willing to lay his reputation, career, and marriage on the line just to exchange sexually explicit photos on Twitter with young women he didn’t even know.

And what about the multibillion dollar sex tourism industry, in which wealthy businessmen are willing to travel from the U.S. to Thailand in order to have sex with prostitutes?

whole foodsThe fact that humans are willing to go to great lengths to fulfill sexual desire suggests that there is something mysteriously powerful about sex.

I think it’s time to retire the outdated idea that sex is just a bodily transaction of fluids. It’s so much bigger than that – for good or ill. Sex is a deeply intimate and vulnerable act that involves our whole body and soul.

I’m for whole sex – not “just sex.”

David

David lives in Ohio. He is writing a book with his wife, Amber, about young adults’ stories of forming relationships and families. David is a part of I Believe in Love because he thinks that we are stronger when we stand together, and that together we can achieve our aspirations for lifelong marriage and family.
David

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2 Comments

  • I would argue that there isn’t much stigma against sex anymore–and it hasn’t done much to make us have a healthier relationship with sex. In my circles in small town Ohio, men and women alike complain about the meaninglessness of casual sex, which is normal and expected (not stigmatized). It’s often a temporary high, but comes with a kind of hollowness, too. I think that sex is most powerful and meaningful when it is a kind of “language of the body”–a way of expressing committed love with our bodies. I think the research suggests that, too. http://www.livescience.com/11067-reasons-sex-linked-satisfaction-study-finds.html

  • In my opinion, American society is overly obsessed with sex. Why? Because we’ve been trying to repress it for so long. The less of an open dialogue we have about sex, the more “mysterious” sex becomes. Forbidden fruit syndrome and all that. Perhaps if we had a better system of sex education, and placed less of a stigma on sexual activity, our attitudes about sex would be healthier.

    Sex is not *inherently* sacred OR dirty. Sex, like everything else, is what you make it. Sex can be powerful and intimate to one person and “just fluids” to another. There is such a wide variation in the human experience of sex that it seems slightly silly to make a blanket statement about the meaning of sex for all humanity. Just stay safe and consensual!

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