I have social media to thank for introducing me to my boyfriend of over two years. But lately I’ve been wondering if the internet is always the best place to meet prospective lovers. Is social media helping us form healthy relationships or is it facilitating cheating and hooking up?
My ex-boyfriend repeatedly used Facebook to cheat on me. I was upset he was messaging other women he would meet online but at the same time not very surprised. There were warning signs. He suddenly wouldn’t let me touch his phone, even just to charge it. He also started setting the phone’s ringer on silent and putting it under his pillow at night. He even went as far as accuse me of going through his phone while he was asleep.
I also have received messages from random people I have never met who want to know if I would be down for a hookup. A relative of one of my friends messaged me on Facebook to tell me he could be my new boyfriend. I told him no and I haven’t heard from him again. Women are equally as responsible as men in this equation. A guy friend of mine has shown me the Facebook messages he receives from women on a daily basis asking for hook-ups.
I’ve learned it’s ok to question what the person you are seeing is doing online. If they are acting differently around you or keeping their phone private, I would start asking them about it. I’m honest with my boyfriend so he doesn’t even have to ask. I tell him everything that happens on social media and I show him the messages that strangers send me. I also have made my Facebook page private, so I can avoid messages from strangers.
Even though I met my current boyfriend online, I think meeting in person is better. You get a better feel for who they really and if they are serious about wanting a healthy relationship with you. Social media has changed how people interact with each other and it’s important for people to set boundaries to protect their relationships.