The first Valentine’s Day my husband and I spent together as a young dating couple, we went out to a nice dinner. He bought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a bracelet that I still wear today. I bought him an expensive new wallet. We were young and still trying to impress each other, celebrating a holiday that you feel obligated to but also excited to celebrate in those early days of dating.
Now, not surprisingly, not much happens around our house on Valentine’s Day. I will get my husband a card. He will probably pick up some flowers at the grocery store. I’ll get little gifts for my kids and send valentines to school. But there probably won’t be a date, or large gifts or a big celebration. Maybe we will order our favorite pizza. Wow – crazy, right?
Many people would say, you should celebrate your love all the time. That it’s silly to make such a big to do on a day “created by the card stores.” But I’m putting a crazy idea out there. I think we SHOULD still celebrate Valentine’s Day. I think married couples should celebrate to the same extent as a brand new couple. Because here’s the truth – we DON’T celebrate our love every day. It just doesn’t happen. It seems unrealistic, at least for us.
Maybe there are some wonderful couples out there who still wake up every morning and shower their spouse in romance all day. I remember in our marriage preparation class, a husband and wife led the course. The husband said that after many years of marriage he still “proposes” to his wife every single day. At the time, I thought…well that is so cute! Now looking back, I think…are you kidding me? No way does anyone remember/have time/feel like proposing to their spouse again every day. Marriage is just straight up hard, and some days this kind of act of romance is just not in the cards.
Again, at least not for us. We wake up, and start pouring milk. Fixing breakfast. Running kids to preschool. Heading off to work. Cleaning up the house. Folding laundry. And sadly amid the day to day, there isn’t always a lot of romance.
So in an effort to infuse our day to day with a bit more love and romance, I’m suggesting we celebrate Valentine’s Day just like we did that first February 14th, so many years ago. Not only is it just fun, but maybe it will be a jumpstart to the daily gestures.
This week I saw a link on Pinterest to a week-long jumpstart to romance in your relationship. The whole point was just putting your love into practice. Just like anything else – if you don’t practice the piano every day, you aren’t going to get better. If you let days and weeks and months go by without putting your love into action with your spouse – from notes to kind words to intimacy – it falls out of your routine.
So I’m going to start treating Valentine’s Day as an annual reminder and a jump-start to keeping the romance alive in my marriage. Just like New Year’s Day calls us to make resolutions for ourselves. I’m deeming Valentine’s Day as a New Year for my marriage.