It was Christmas day- a time for quality time with the people you love. Instead, my siblings and I were caught up in an argument with my dad over whether my sister should get her driver’s license.
I found his resistance unreasonable. The argument finally ended and I just sat there on the couch crying. I wasn’t angry about the outcome, in part because it was left unresolved. I was disappointed in myself. My other siblings were able to step aside even if they didn’t agree with or understand his view.
For one reason or another, be it my pride or stubbornness, I could never exit an argument. “Why do I always let this happen?” I asked myself. It seemed no matter how committed I was to a peaceful visit to my parent’s house, I always found myself caught in the middle of a blowup over a trivial disagreement.
That afternoon, I decided to go for a long run for an opportunity to blow off some steam. As I ran, I thought about how stupid I had been for allowing myself to get so worked up. The disagreement had nothing to do with me; my sister and dad needed to figure it out together. Why did I always feel obligated to intervene? Was my insistence on being right really worth it?
I think I often run from what I need only to later find myself to return to the people I love. Perhaps that is why our disagreements bothered me so much- I hated feeling separated from my father. A few hours later, I returned home ready to embrace my father and say I was sorry.
I gained a new appreciation for my parents and siblings that difficult Christmas Day. My family exposes my brokenness and weaknesses, but it’s also where I learn to grow- to say sorry and be forgiven.