Marriage Means Keeping My Best Friend Forever


All through college, I didn’t care too much about boys. I was having an awful lot of fun being me, and I didn’t need a boy to come along and mess with the perfect equation that made up my happy life.  But as fate would have it, a boy did come along and he rewrote all my equations.

I met my future husband Victor in college and we soon became best friends.  We shared the same goals, the same interests, the same dreams.  But when college came to an end, our lives began to pull us in different directions. Eventually Victor began working for a company that was five hours away.

Miles were no threat to us.  We knew we had something special, and we believed that the distance would not harm the deep friendship we shared.  But while Victor was beginning to consider planning a future together, I continued living my life solo. I was secretly afraid to change the dynamic in our relationship. I was scared marriage would somehow dissolve our rare friendship. 

I had seen so many couples fall into a numbing abyss when they got married. Young and in-love friends, changed when they said “I do.”  They stopped holding hands. They stopped going on dates. They even stopped smiling at each other. As the relationship changed, so did the romance. And not always in a good way. So I was quite content to keep doing what we had been doing for as long as we could make it last.

Victor was patient—oh so patient.  But he wanted us to be together as partners in marriage.  This went on for three years, and then one day Victor told me he was going to move even further away to New York. I knew that we could both live our lives separately and do just fine.  We could accomplish great things, and we didn’t need to be together to do what we set out to do.  But the fact was that I didn’t want to. At that moment, I realized there was nothing I wanted more in this world than to be together forever. I asked him not to leave and to wait for me.  Again, he did.  Only a love as deep as Victor’s could wait as long as he did.  

For another year, we continued our long-distance relationship but this time with marriage in both of our minds. It wasn’t easy, especially now that we were dating. We found ways to make the distance feel a little closer.  Sending surprises in the mail was one of our favorite expressions of love for each other.  And when we finally did see each other, we had the best dates because we had waited so long to have them. If absence makes the heart grow fonder, then our hearts were bursting with fondness.

When at long last we finally married, I realized that nothing about marriage spoiled what we had in the beginning. There is a confidence in our lives that as married partners, we don’t walk away from each other because we don’t like what we see.  Sure, marriage brings its own set of challenges, but the beauty of it is that we have a sacred contract of love between us.  We both swore that we would have each other’s back no matter what and we work to keep our relationship strong. I didn’t lose my best friend by marrying him, he simply became my best friend forever.  


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