I have begun dating again for the first time in a few years after the end of a longterm relationship, so a few weeks ago I decided to give online dating a chance. What did I have to lose?
Within a few days, I had started to chat with a man who seemed very promising. We had so much in common, and we both seemed to have similar goals in life. After chatting for a few days, we decided to meet up. I was excited to meet him in real life!
The morning of our date I sent him a text saying that I was looking forward to meeting up with him after work. Within an hour he replied saying he forgot that he had a project for work and that he did not have time to meet up. While I was a little upset, I asked when he would like to reschedule. I never heard back from him.
By lunchtime that day, I was in the worst mood. I was really looking forward to meeting this guy and getting to know him better. It was not until after he ditched me that I realized how much energy and emotion I put into our “chat” on this dating website. I instantly began to think of everything that was wrong with me: Did he not like my pictures? Was I not interesting enough? Was I not good enough for him?
The next day I was still obsessing about everything I could have done wrong and what I needed to change about myself. But then I started to think about the advice that I have given to my friends over the years when they are going through similar situations.
We had exchanged at the most 20 messages over 5 days, I told myself, so does he really know me? No. If he thinks that he is too good for me, do I even want to meet him? No. And finally, I told myself, I deserve to meet a guy who is excited to get to know me, so if he backs out, then he is actually doing me a favor.
Instead of focusing on everything that could possibly be wrong with me, I should have focused on all of the good things I have going on in my life and all the people who love me for who I am. While the online dating world is great for meeting new people, it also gives people a screen to hide behind. There is no way to summarize your personality with just a few pictures and a couple paragraphs. So, if someone jumps to a conclusion about you before meeting you, then they are missing out on the most important thing: meeting the REAL you!
So, be confident in who you are, what your passions are, your true beauty and strength. You deserve to be treated with respect. If you run into someone who stands you up or makes you feel like you are not good enough for them, move on and focus on the good you have in your life!