I’ve been married for three years now, and I’ve NEVER forgotten my wife’s birthday. I did however forget to tell her happy birthday before I left for work this year. I wasn’t really in a hurry and I didn’t have anything big on my mind; it was just an oversight. If there are any husbands reading this, I sure hope you learn from my mistake.
Birthdays have never been a big deal for me and so not mentioning Kara’s birthday right away didn’t seem like a big deal. I called her later in the day and said happy birthday, and when I got home I planned on giving her a card and gift once the kids were asleep. The problem was birthdays are important to my wife, and for her I had dropped the ball and my lack of remorse made it even worse. When Kara confronted me about my oversight she had tears in her eyes and couldn’t understand how I could be so thoughtless. She reminded me that while birthdays don’t matter for me, they matter for her, and that should matter to me. I knew she was right, and thankfully after the card and gift she was able to forgive me.
In hindsight it wasn’t just that I didn’t say happy birthday in the morning, it was that Kara could tell I hadn’t put a lot of thought into her birthday. I tend to focus on the task that is at hand and I rarely look beyond what’s most pressing. Unless I get past that trait, it puts me behind for important days like birthdays and anniversaries. It’s a challenge for me to be creative and proactive, making sure important dates are special, but my wife is special and totally worth it. This year was a reminder to me that it’s not enough to love my wife, I need to show it, and especially show it in the ways that mean the most to her. I have a feeling I’ll hear about this birthday again, but I also have a feeling that next year is going to be pretty special!