Those who love us most carry us through the most difficult times in life. We don’t make it on our own. I know because my husband held me up when I couldn’t stand.
I had just had my second child and everything had gone smoothly. We were settling in at home when the pain started. It felt like it was coming from everywhere. It took my breath away and left me bent over in agony.
My husband finally talked me into going to the hospital after a few days. Following multiple tests and an overnight stay, the doctors told me I would have to go under anesthesia for gallbladder surgery as soon as possible.
The news hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn’t help but think about my family. I worried my newborn baby might wonder where her mother was. and that I would be leaving my poor husband to take care of our newborn and our toddler son by himself without any preparation.
The weekend I was away from my family was the most challenging of my life, yet I couldn’t bring myself to fully express how I was feeling to the people I love. Maybe it’s the mother in me, but I tend to put on a brave face and say ‘everything is okay’ for the sake of everyone else. I didn’t realize it, but my tendency to hold back my emotions actually hindering my relationship with my husband. I was scared to let him in.
My husband had been taking care of things at home, but he decided to stay with me at the hospital and leave our babies with our friends. He knew that I need him and that they would be okay. I told him over and over he didn’t need to and that I was fine.
I didn’t realize how much I needed my husband until he walked into the hospital room. I needed him to hold my hand, distract my mind from the pain and embrace me while I cried. Our typical schedule is very hectic, so it’s been a challenge to maintain our relationship. The time we spent together gave us the time to grow closer.
The biggest lesson I learned from this experience is we are not in control of our lives. We don’t know what devastating thing could be around the corner, but we are in control of how we handle it. I could have pushed everyone away, but instead my husband and I are closer than ever because I chose to let him in.
I have been in the hospital four times since marrying my husband. Each visit has been incredibly difficult, but has also been an opportunity for us to stop and reflect on what really matters to us- our faith and our family. I’m blessed to have someone in my life who knows me better than myself, who is there for me even when I don’t always realize I need him at my side.