Picking Your Spouse Each and Every Day (Even When You Don’t Feel Like It)

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I chose to marry my husband for all the reasons you might imagine.

He was kind and thoughtful. When we were dating, he seemed to remember every little thing I had ever mentioned liking or enjoying. He was constantly surprising me with little gifts.

He wanted the same things in life as I did. We daydreamed together about buying a little fixer upper that we could fill up with our friends for game nights and bonfires.

He wanted the best for me and wasn’t afraid to gently push when I wasn’t living out my best life. When I would snap a curt response to a simple question, he would take time to help me figure out why I was so frustrated, which often had little-to-nothing to do with him. With tender care, he shared how my harsh words stung and wondered aloud what was going on in my own heart that would cause me to speak to him in such a hurtful way. I would apologize. He would forgive.

It didn’t hurt that he was really handsome too.

I chose my husband and he chose me despite each of us knowing that the other was imperfect. We each chose to spend the rest of our lives with a flawed human being. Our decision to marry was a choice we made to love one another in the midst of and in spite of our flaws.

I am independent to a fault, selfish, and hate washing dishes (So I don’t.). He bottles up his feelings, is a workaholic, and hates making the bed (So he doesn’t).

We’ve learned and continue to learn how to help each other overcome our flaws. I work hard to include him in decision making instead of making family decisions myself and telling him about it later. We go over his schedule together to make sure he is not overcommitting in his work and that our family time is prioritized. When it comes to washing dishes and making beds, we serve each other out of love. None of us are perfect. We will never find a spouse who doesn’t have an annoying habit or two and the propensity to occasionally get on our nerves.

There are days when our imperfectness rubs against the other. Days, for example, when I have taken our kids on an out-of-town trip without talking with him first. Or days when he comes home from work late without sending me a text. These are the days when we have to remember that we chose to marry each other because we continue to choose. We’re a work in progress, but we’re both committed to the effort.

Thankfully, my husband is still kind, thoughtful, and handsome. We still want the same things out of life and we continue to push each other to be the best version of ourselves. We chose each other on our wedding day, flaws and all, and we continue to choose each other each day of our lives together.

 

Lindsy

Lindsy loves Jesus, her husband, their five kids, hot tea and good tattoos. Her family lives in inner-city Miami and when she’s not homeschooling her kids or loving on her neighbors, she writes about faith, justice, race and downward mobility at lightbreaksforth.com, and chats it up on the Upside Down Podcast. I believe in love because love is the final word.
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