What Matters is that You Have Quality Time, Not Where You Spend It

“Do you think it’s weird that we go to the bathroom in front of each other?” were the first words out of my husband’s mouth when he got home from work one day.

I had no idea where this conversation was going.

“No … why?” I responded.

He then proceeded to tell me how he was hanging out with the guys, all of whom are married. They weren’t talking about anything important, my husband just commented in the conversation saying, “Yeah, I was telling my wife about that when we were hanging out in the bathroom yesterday.”

As soon as my husband mentioned that he and I were in the “bathroom” together the guys chimed right in saying, “What?! You guys go to the bathroom in front of each other?!”

They all were grossed out and saying things like, “I can’t imagine going to the bathroom in front of my wife” or, “That’s so weird that you guys go to the bathroom in the same room as each other!”

Ever since my husband and I got married we have always been very comfortable with each other. His daily routine as soon as he stepped through the door would be to use the bathroom, then take a shower. Especially when we first got married I wanted nothing more than to see him after being apart all day.

One day as he was heading for the bathroom I said, “Hurry up! I miss you!!” and he said, “Just come in while I go to the bathroom, I don’t mind.” That was the start of what became a daily ritual.

I would sit up on the bathroom sink and we would just talk.

“So how was your day, baby?” is typically how my husband would start off the conversation.

We would usually talk about his day, my day, what’s for dinner, the usual daily things. This  wasn’t hours of deep conversation, but it was time to connect—even for a few minutes—and to keep nurturing our relationship.

It was also the perfect time to be able to vent about our day if we needed to. Then, once “bathroom time” was over and we got our bad day off our chest, we could move on. This daily, constant communication kept us connected and on the same page.

If anything, the ritual of bathroom time has grown in importance from its beginnings in the early days of our marriage. Sometimes it’s the only place to get some quiet from our crazy kids running around. It’s the perfect place to get an uninterrupted five minutes with my hubby so we can talk about the meeting he had with his boss that day, or an issue I’m having with a family member, or an upcoming doctor’s appointment for one of our kids.

Spending quality time in the bathroom is not everyone’s cup of tea, as we have learned. And sure, we’d love it if we had the time and money to go out more often. But what matters is that we have quality time, not where we spend it.

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