The first time the guy who became my boyfriend and I kissed, we were saying goodbye to one another at the airport. It was about eight months after we had met and spent a wonderful evening together roaming around in the city where he was living.
It was about two and a half months before we were able to see each other again. It became pretty clear to me that he would ask me to be his girlfriend the next time we were together in person, and I could not have been more excited about it. As we both muddled our way through long distance flirting and the slowly building excitement of getting to see each other again, I one day teased that he could not kiss me again unless the setting was super romantic.
I wasn’t really expecting my boyfriend to do much, I actually even felt a little embarrassed for having asked that he do something romantic.
As I’ve written previously, my past relationships and my own lack of self-confidence had taught me to have low expectations for guys. I feared asking for romance would make me seem cheesy, demanding, or high-maintenance. As my attitudes towards love and relationships started to change, I think I finally felt confident enough to voice my wish to be wooed. Still, I had a doubting voice in my head that said asking for romance was silly and this man probably wouldn’t actually do anything.
Instead of dismissing or ignoring my half-joking demand that our second kiss be highly romantic, my (soon to be) boyfriend surpassed my expectations. The next time we saw each other, he picked me up at the airport and greeted me with a bouquet of roses. Before heading to his parents’ house where I would be staying, we visited a park in his hometown on a cold and slightly windy late winter night.
We walked around the park for a while, talking and holding hands, and eventually arrived at a small wooden bridge. He had been carrying around a box of candles labeled “Emergency Candles” and proceeded to place them on the side railing of the bridge. He made several attempts to light them, but the cold wind was relentless and kept blowing out each candle.
After realizing his attempts at creating a candlelit setting had been defeated, he turned to me with the sweetest face and said, “I hope this was romantic enough. I find bridges romantic.” I told him I thought bridges were romantic too.
What made that moment romantic was that he had put effort into creating something beautiful to share with me, even if it didn’t go as he planned. After we finished laughing about the wind’s triumph over the emergency candles, my beau asked, “Will you be my girlfriend?” I very excitedly said yes, and we shared our second kiss on that little wooden bridge.
It was the first time a guy had ever taken the time to intentionally create romance within a relationship with me. In fact, I’d never been asked by a guy I was seeing to be his girlfriend. I loved that my boyfriend had fun with my request for a romantic second kiss. He made the request his own and got creative as he figured out how he could create a special moment for us.
The way that my boyfriend asked me helped me to realize that there are good guys in the world. His desire for commitment, clarity, and romance, which had been absent in my prior relationships, made me feel hopeful about love. Through him I realized that when a guy truly desires to be with me and truly cares about me, he will put in the effort to create those moments with me. What I learned from our almost candle-lit night was that I am worth romancing.