My little sister has been complaining lately that she isn’t getting attention from guys. But it turns out she does get asked out, just not by men she is crazy about. I don’t know about you, but as a brother, friend, and guy who is sick of hearing girls ask “where are all the good men?” I have to say: get over yourself and say “yes” to a few more dates.
Now, I’ve already detailed here that it’s perfectly okay to decline a date, as long as you do so in a polite and straightforward way. So I’m not saying a woman has to go out with every Tom, Dick, and Harry who asks. But I do think a lot of ladies, like my sister, do themselves a great disservice by being too picky about whose invitations they choose to accept.
One time, a buddy of mine had a crush on a mutual friend of ours. When he finally worked up the courage to ask her out, she said, “let me think about it.” Think about what? If he’s worthy of the privilege of buying you dinner? If she could stand an hour and a half alone with him?
Inevitably, she came back to him and declined his invitation. So what exactly was accomplished during that discernment period? Did she run a background check? Count the number of selfies on his Instagram account?
But what if she had gone out with him anyway?
I’m glad you asked, because more than a few relationships start out this way (ask your parents!). Someone asks you out, you might not be totally impressed, but you give him a chance anyway. Worst case scenario, you can make a more informed decision down the road, even if it’s just after one date. Best case scenario? You’ve met the man of your dreams. Most likely scenario? You get a free meal out of the deal and decent conversation.
Sure, you can wait around for that guy at work you’re convinced is the hottest thing since Steve McQueen. But guess what? This one’s available, he obviously thinks highly of you, and he’s man enough to ask you out on a real date… three things we can’t say about most of the people we fantasize about. And let’s be honest, most of our time is wasted pining for people who either aren’t available or aren’t interested. Or both! So why bother?
This is not at all about lowering standards. Picking a man to date is not as easy as choosing between a shiny sports cars and a rusted out, broken-down beater. Most dudes will appear to be more like that run-of-the-mill, broken-in, slightly weathered pick-up truck that maybe hasn’t had a good car wash lately. But all men require a test drive to see if they are really legit—and no, I don’t mean that kind of test-drive.
So the next time a guy asks you out, and your initial inclination is to decline, consider giving him a chance instead. Will it be awkward? Most likely. But as my little sister once explained; “We women are lovers of the romantic, fantastical world. However, we live in the awkward, ordinary world.” It’s not that the real world doesn’t have romance, it’s just that, most of the time, dreams come true by waking up and seeing what’s right in front of you.
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