The Heart Of Manliness: Putting The Breaks On Chasing Girls

My girlfriend dumped me back in 2010, it sucked at the time, but it turns out it was the kindest thing she could have done for me. Let me explain.

Matt chasing girls
Matt dipping his wife on their wedding day.

Up to that year, I was always chasing girls. Seriously. Since 5th grade I always had a date on Valentine’s Day and that’s no exaggeration. I’m not necessarily proud of that either. Part of the thrill was that chasing girls was funyou’re attracted to the person, you flirt, you’re awkward, you’re wondering if they like you back. Then you agonize about that for a while, and you test the waters, you fail, and you try again. You wait, you wait, oh, and you wait. They fall for something in you that you didn’t even think was all that great. You get your chance, you seize the opportunity, and well, it happens.

So my girlfriend breaking up with me senior year of college put a big halt on things. I thought she was definitely the one. I was confused and frustrated. So for that next year I decided to take a halt on chasing girls all together and focus on myself.

It was scary at first, but then it was the most liberating thing ever. It gave me a chance to put my 100% into figuring out me and what I want in my life. It gave me a chance to figure out the kind of man I wanted to be for a woman instead of what I can get from her.

I also started to realize that although I wasn’t with anyone, I could be preparing myself for being with someone in the future. I realized that if I wanted to take care of a wife and family one day, I first had to know how to take care of myself.

  1. I knew in marriage I’d have to do home chores, so I got my practice in doing dishes and washing laundry.
  2. I learned how to cook because I love food and wanted to show I can literally put food on the table.
  3. I got my finances in gear and learned how to save because I knew that would be crucial in marriage, too.
  4. Shoot, at the time I even took salsa lessons because I knew one day, I’d like to sweep my wife off her feet, too.

And you know what happened a year later? My girlfriend noticed all these changes, and she wanted me back. We eventually dated again. A year later, I proposed to her, and last year, I married her. I’m glad Mimi broke up with me. I wasn’t ready then, but it gave me time to prepare to be ready for her now.

Are you doing anything prepare to be the kind of husband and father a woman can depend on?

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