Growing up, I watched my parents always stay together in their marriage. I watched all the love movies where they live happily ever after. I want that. I want to always cherish and grow the same love that I felt for my husband the first time I saw him. I want to live in and write that beautiful story where my heart never stops believing in love and our love never fails. But most of all, in their own relationships, I want my children to know and feel that same love that I hold for their father.
I am not very religious and my faith in God isn’t steady. But from when I was younger I was always told that God loves you no matter what, that His love for us was more than we could imagine, since He sent his own son to die for us. My faith in lasting love is similar to my faith in God’s love: no matter how much we go through, I will always love my husband. I want to believe that my love will never run out and that it will flow freely no matter what comes our way.
And I want my children to see that! Although our marriage isn’t perfect, the love is always there—and I hope it gives them a good ideal of what love is. I want my children to meet the person of their dreams. I want my children to feel those butterflies that start in the beginning of any relationship, and I want them to grow and flourish with wisdom and grace as their likes turn to love. I want to believe that my belief in love will run through each of my children.
But with today’s new age and lack of standards I sometimes fear my children won’t have the happily ever after love. Many couples my age are not getting married, with marriage rates steadily dropping in the last 30 years. And I understand that part of the reason people hesitate to get married is because they sometimes see people who get married who stop letting their love grow. But that’s not what marriage is supposed to be: marriage is a promise to love that person “till death do us part.”
And I feel that our society has allowed young people to do anything without a thought. I remember hearing the older generation say that part of the reason they wanted to get married was because they were expected to. I’m not saying we should force couples to marry, but I think parents have a duty to instill and teach their love to their children—to show your children that love is a commitment to another person that you honor, a duty.
I want my children to see every aspect of my love for their father. Yes, we fight and argue and get mean and sometimes we hurt each other emotionally. But we always make up. We always apologize, kiss, hug, and say goodnight. Every day is a fight to choose what’s right and what’s wrong, but love has never been a question. I have never stopped loving my husband. I may not have agreed with every choice he made or that I made, but I have never stopped loving him. Even when I’m mad at him or hurt by something he said or did, I never stop fighting for our love. The thought of not having his love in my life hurts so deep that I couldn’t imagine living without his love. I feel lost or empty without the love and joy that life with him fills me with.
And I believe that my love for my husband will help build my children’s love for their own partners someday. I believe everyone should have the love that never stops growing—not even after ten years of marriage, four kids, and some extra weight. I believe that no matter what, my love for him will never change, because I choose to believe in love, and I know that love till death do us part is real and possible. It’s that choice that allowed me to have the happily ever after that I dreamed of as a child—and one day I hope that it will also help my children to create their own stories of lasting love.