I’m on a journey to figure out how to keep true love. And to start, I figured I’d give a little insight on what my fiancée, Jazmin, and I have already gone through in the two years that we have been through together.
There was my meth addiction (and recovering from it). Moving from Ohio to Virigina and back again. Jobless. Not having a pot to piss in. A mini case of relapse. We had a baby, and we have another on the way. Three cars in two years. Struggles with family stuff on both sides. I’ve been through job after job after job. I lived in a car just so I could be close to Jazmin and my baby. Hell, we even had a long-distance relationship for a little while. You name it, we’ve probably been through it.
But through all that, we still love each other just as much. How have we made it? Two simple words: everlasting love. Here is what everlasting love means to me.
- Everlasting love means honesty.
In that honesty, you’re going to have fights. Honesty will cause the fights, but honesty will also help you lay your head down at nights. What you really have to do is be truthful.
For instance, at the very beginning of our relationship, I told her I was on meth. I didn’t want to tell her, and it was hard, but she accepted me for who I am. And, honestly, what made me want to stop is not that she was loving and caring and accepting about it, but that she was brutally honest with me. She said, “I can’t build a life on that, but I can be your best friend in the world. But if you want this to be more than it is now, you’ve got to stop. You can’t stop for me; you’ve got to stop for you—for your future.” She was brutally honest with me, and it made all the difference in the world.
Couples that say they don’t fight are either lying to you, or it’s not a true relationship. Because if you just bury everything, you’re not working out your problems. And eventually you’re going to run out of room to bury problems, and that’s when that big fight is going to pop off—and that’s when you could lose each other forever.
Yeah, if a couple is being honest with each other, they are going to fight, and they’re going to say things that are hurtful sometimes. But it’s stuff that needs to be said. You can become a better couple in the process.
- Everlasting love means never giving up.
The bullshit I go through as an individual defines me as an individual. But in a relationship, the bullshit defines the relationship. So if you quit wanting to deal with someone else’s crap, you’re done. In a relationship, you have to be willing to put up with the other person’s crap, your own crap—and then ask for some more crap. You have to work through it; that’s the only chance anybody has for everlasting love. I know that if Jazmin and I went through hell and back for the rest of our lives, we’d still be together. Because everlasting love means never giving up.
- Everlasting love means thinking of our children.
We did and we are doing everything that we possibly can to keep our family afloat, and to stay in love. Yes, we want to be together for us, but we also want to be together for our children. We love each other a lot, and I guess you can say we love our children even more because of the love that we have for each other.
You see, people tell me all the time about my daughter, Izzy, “She looks just like you!” But I don’t see that; I see Jazmin. The love that we have for each other extends to our children. And if we broke up, that love would be broken—because they would be a constant reminder of the love that we would have lost. When we’d look at our children, we’d just see the person we’d lost. But together, our children are a constant reminder of the love that we share. And you better believe I’m going to fight to keep that love strong and growing.
Just the other day, Jazmin and I had a knock-out, drag-em out fight. But by the end of the day, she was loving on me, and I was loving on her. It could be World War III, and I guarantee you at the end of that day, we’ll be holding each other and telling each other “I love you.” Fighting for everlasting love is what has kept us together through two very stressful years, and it’s what will keep us together until death.