I think that many of us dream of our wedding day and a beautiful future with the one we love. A lot of us have developed these dreams and ideas of a “perfect life” over many years. But, could it be that all our years of dreaming set us up for unrealistic expectations? In my life it certainly did!
When we first got married, I loved setting up our home, taking care our bills and our housework felt like a dream. Finally, we were building a life together. These were our bills and our housework.
The excitement faded quickly and I remember early on in our marriage feeling like all of the responsibilities were on me. They were still our bills and our housework, but I felt like I was the only one doing the work. Then when our son came along it felt like even more of the responsibilities were on my shoulders. This made me resent my husband because I felt like he did not care or understand that I was under a ton of pressure.
The big mistake I made was letting it build up. I felt our lives were a two way street, we both worked outside the home and yet I had all of these extra concerns he did not seem to notice! It came to a point that we had a huge blow out argument. Have you ever experienced this in your relationship?
Once I vented my frustrations (not in the best manner I might add) I realized that he had no idea I was feeling this way! He honestly did not know I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. He didn’t want that for me, and so we came up with a plan to share the household responsibilities.
This is when I learned that it is always better to just come right out and say how you feel! It is so much simpler to discuss a small issue than to let all of the small things build up and explode.
Have you ever done this or experienced a similar situation? Did you learn from your mistakes? I know I did, and I’m so glad…our marriage is stronger because of it!