Is it Possible to Love Someone Unconditionally?

Everyone had always told me that unconditional love between two adults was impossible. As much as I thought I might love my future husband, they told me the moment I had children I would realize that the love I have for them is true unconditional love.

I remember asking myself: What makes marriage so special if my love for my kids will easily trump my love for my spouse? Just the thought of it made me sad, to be honest.

I walked into marriage believing that all it would take is one mistake and my husband’s love for me would crack. Or if I did not fulfill every commitment and I was not the perfect wife then he would stop loving me. Because after all, our love for each other was conditional and not as strong or deep as a parent–child relationship, right?

I’ve since realized this was not the case at all. I truly believe that the love in a marital relationship can be unconditional.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I had this nagging fear that my husband wouldn’t love me through it. It was a really rough pregnancy. I had days and weeks where I would get super behind on dishes, laundry, cleaning and on top of all that, feeling miserable. I was hyper-emotional, over-sensitive, and hormonal to the extreme! After weeks and weeks of this, I was annoyed and tired of myself. I couldn’t imagine how much my husband was annoyed with me as well.

Yet, during the worst moments my husband continued to show me love. Even when I couldn’t stand being around myself, he would purposely come home early to spend an extra hour or two with me. When I was hormonal and emotional, he would rub my back and feet and tell me how beautiful I was. When I got extremely behind on household chores he would wake up extra early on his few days off to make sure the house was clean when I woke up.

He went above and beyond over and over again, loving me despite my shortcomings. I realized and am still realizing that through my faults and failures my husband’s love for me is unwavering. Through many trials, disagreements, and miscommunications he loves me not just as much as when we got married, but more. And I feel the same way about him. We have only grown closer and stronger in our trust and love for one another. 

All those comments people made to me about how marital love cannot be unconditional are wrong. I now have three children with my husband. I know what people mean when they say the love between a parent and child is different from any other relationship. But that doesn’t mean my relationship with my husband is any less deep or profound. I would step in front of a bullet for my kids, but I would for my husband as well. And I know he would do the same for us.

Everyone had told me that two people cannot love each other this deeply; I never would have thought that our love could grow so much stronger and more secure through the years we’ve been married. I am so pleasantly surprised that mutually unconditional love is my reality. 

Victoria

grew up in Michigan but calls Pennsylvania home. She videoblogs about her life as a stay-at-home mom at The Lemon Tree (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIYrkk3L5lGZH6ys67iURoA). She is happily married to her college sweetheart, who is also her rock. She believes in love because it found her even when she felt undeserving.
Victoria
Written By
More from Victoria

A Letter to My Teenage Self About Love

Vicky, You are in high school now. A teenager with more questions...
Read More

1 Comment

  • I know that you can love a companion unconditional . I feel this love everyday for my Ex husband and although he has done horrible things to hurt me intentional I can only love him! It’s a gift to love in this way . I feel no shame in y unconditional love only sadness that it’s not reciprocal but none the less grateful to know such profound love and to be able to give it so freely!

Comments are closed.