Have you ever said “yes” to something you were unsure about?
It was my senior year of college and I’d never been on a date before; which I found extremely embarrassing.
I was close with some people who were friends with this one guy who went to our college, but I was traveling abroad, so we never crossed paths. I finally met him at a party one night. All of my guy friends immaturely giggled every time we spoke, so I figured this guy might be interested in me. But I wasn’t really interested.
For several weeks, my less-than-subtle guy friends dropped hints that their friend thought I was pretty, nice, and funny. I was never someone who got a lot of attention from men, at least romantically. When I found out he thought all of these things about me, I started to warm up to the idea. Eventually he asked me if he could take me out for coffee.
But part of me, deep down, knew something about it wasn’t right.
We went to our campus coffee shop at 9 p.m. on a Thursday. My first thought was, why drink coffee so late at night? He paid for me with his campus dining dollars and proceeded to tell me he didn’t like coffee, which made me wonder why we had even decided to come to the coffee shop in the first place.
We sat there for an hour or so, chatting. He told me he enjoyed himself, wanted to do it again, and walked me home.
I felt nothing, but I convinced myself that I was new to dating and so maybe I just had to get to know him first before deciding I wasn’t interested. What followed was a few weeks of random texting and eating lunch together in the residence hall.
But then I found out from a few friends that he had decided he didn’t like me and was trying to figure out a way to tell me he didn’t want to go on a second date.
I was crushed. Not because of unrequited feelings, but because I had allowed myself to be rejected by someone who took me on a mediocre date and used texting as his main form of communication.
My gut had told me that he wasn’t for me, but I decided to go out with him anyway. The date itself wasn’t the worst thing that ever happened to me, but the aftermath was painful. I felt foolish because I knew I wasn’t really interested in him. But I let our relationship linger because I was afraid no one else would ever be interested in me.
It was hard at first to find any good in this experience. But looking back, I realized something important: It’s good to date, even if it doesn’t work out. But don’t keep a relationship going just because you’re scared you won’t meet anyone.