He Changes the Diapers, I Change the Oil

Recently some friends and I were chatting about how we can’t do it all with some of my friends.

The conversation quickly expanded to include what our husbands do and how we manage job division within our homes. A friend’s jaw dropped when I told her my husband does our grocery shopping, most of the cooking, and all the dishes.

Sometimes we do get questions or comments from others who think our job division is a bit strange. Last month a mortgage broker suggested I call my husband to ask him a question about our salary because “surely he will know the answer.” Occasionally my husband has to make a grocery run on an afternoon I am working and you can be sure he attracts onlookers with five kids circling the cart. But it works for us.

My parents’ generation was just beginning to break the traditional mold of male and female family roles. I caught a glimpse of it, but it was a few years into my marriage before I fully embraced that freedom in my own marriage and home. When I finally did it was, well, freeing.

Thankfully we live in a time in history when we have the freedom to throw up in the air all the responsibilities that make a family work and grab the ones that best fit our unique gifts. Since my husband enjoys cooking, he makes most of our meals. I gladly keep track of our bills and finances because numbers make my heart flutter while spreadsheets make his eyes cross. He knows how to change a diaper and I know how to change the oil.

We each feel more comfortable in our roles as husband and wife because we have crafted them for ourselves. As partners in life, it’s important to play to each other’s strengths, regardless of the societal norm. What works for one family may not work for another, and that’s ok. We have the freedom to be who we were created to be even in—especially in—our marriages and our homes.


Light Breaks Forth/ Haley Moss Photography

Written By
More from Lindsy

5 Ways I Cope With Debilitating Mental Illness

I sat on my son’s counselor’s couch expecting to talk about my...
Read More