How I’m Making Sure Planning for Our Wedding Doesn’t Overtake Our Relationship

I guess I should start with the news that prompted the thoughts I’m about to share… I’m engaged!

It wasn’t really a surprise because it was something we had been talking about. When he had saved up enough money to buy me the ring he really wanted, I was still over the moon and said yes as quickly as I could. After taking a couple days to share the news of our engagement with everyone and honestly, to stare at my beautiful new piece of jewelry for hours on end, it hit me… I’ve got to get serious about wedding planning now.

The Type-A perfectionist in me is really tempted to take over. But amid the hustle and bustle of wedding planning, I don’t want our relationship to get lost in the mix.

I know myself. It would be all too easy for me to have tunnel vision and let the engagement become the priority over the person I’m actually engaged to. I have been in four weddings in the past few years and I’ve watched this happen to a couple of my friends. I’ve seen a bride become so concerned with planning that she started to become disconnected from her fiancé. Every day it seemed they were having a new argument over something trivial related to the wedding. It was exhausting just watching them.

It’s saddened me each time I witnessed this perfectionism pattern, and I’ve always vowed that when I get married I will try my hardest to keep focused on the main thing. And that is my future husband. I don’t want to finally arrive at our wedding day and realize I’ve neglected him and our relationship.

For six months I’ll be able to call Josh my fiancé. That’s it. Yes we have a wedding to get ready for, and I’m sure there will be times when we’re both stressed and tired of planning. But I don’t want those days to define this time of our lives. When I look back on our engagement, I want to be able to say that he and I grew in love. That we learned even more about each other, and that it was a time of joy as we anticipated embarking on marriage together.

So what does investing in our relationship look like for us?  One easy way we’ve found is eating dinner together most nights. We both love cooking, and we both love each other, so why not combine the two? It’s an easy, stress-free activity that lets us spend quality time together and talk about something other than the wedding. Another fun idea we’ve come up with is planning a weekend outing before our wedding date in June.

Josh has recently found a love for skiing and I’ve never tried it! So about halfway to the wedding we’re going to plan a fun little weekend to go skiing and do something outside of our daily routine. It will be an opportunity to get our minds off of planning and enjoy just being together and having fun.

Like I said, I only have six months to be called someone’s fiancé and to enjoy the excitement that comes along with preparing for marriage. Six months to spend time with the man I love, all while seeing friends and family and attending parties and brunches and everything else under the sun. Six months to prepare for the happiest day of my life.

And I, for one, am determined to enjoy every second of it.

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