What I Know Now: A Letter To Any Man Who Wants To Date This Single Mom

To the man who hopes to date me:

There are a few things that you need to know when it comes to dating me.

First of all, I am a single mother of two children. I want you to know that they will always come before anything else in my life, including you. My kids are my world and I would do anything for them.

Flickr/ Jonathan Reyes

So with that said, no I will not drop my kids off anywhere just to go out with you. I also cannot go out all the time. Please don’t get mad when I cannot go some place, or talk on the phone for all hours of the night. Don’t take it personally when I don’t respond to a text right away because I’m giving my daughter a bath or helping my son with homework or making dinner for my family.

Yes, I would like to get to go out and have fun, but being a single mother (or just a mother in general!) I can’t always do that. I do have to cancel sometimes when my kids are sick. I am the only one they have to take care of them. My kids take up almost all of my time. Sometimes what I have to do to be a good mom will mean that I don’t seem like a very good girlfriend.

But know that I do want to get to know you, to let you into our life when the time is right. But it will take time. More time than it would if you were dating a woman without kids. Set your expectations accordingly.

If I do get to go on a date it cannot be a late night date. My mom will watch the kids on occasion, but she does not want it to be past eleven at night. So no parties, not that I even would want to go to that sort of thing.

If everything is going well and you do get the chance to meet my amazing kids there are a few things to know there. You are not their other parent nor am I trying to make you fill in their shoes. So please don’t yell at my kids or tell them what to do. Respect the rules I’ve set for them. Don’t try to win their favor by giving them gifts behind my back. Don’t make derogatory remarks about their behavior in front of them. Don’t expect to take them out by yourself. I am not trying to be mean, but I have to protect my kids. I would lose it if anything ever happened to them.

In other words, if you want to date me you have to be okay with always coming in second place. Understanding that will make dating me a whole lot easier.





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