What is the Right Speed for a Relationship?

I have been with my boyfriend for three years, but we do not live together. That surprises a lot of people, especially since we both previously moved in with someone we weren’t married to.

To them, it seems like we are taking things really slow. But I think it means we aren’t taking our relationship too fast.

I have seen couples that meet and move in together a couple months later. Maybe they even go in together on a car and merge their bank accounts. Then a couple of months later, they break up. They then struggle to determine how things will be split up.

That’s pretty much what happened to both my boyfriend and to me. And on top of it, we both were both cheated on in these past relationships. My boyfriend and I knew when we started dating that we didn’t want to repeat that hassle or the heartbreak.

I blame moving too fast for a lot of that heartache, since I started sharing everything before I really knew my boyfriend at the time. Living apart has made my bond with my current boyfriend stronger because we both know we are freely choosing to be together. We’re not tied together financially before we are ready. We both know the importance of taking the time to get to know a person before you share your life with them.  That’s why we discussed from the beginning how we wanted our relationship to progress.

Living apart while we are dating has strengthened our relationship in other ways too that I never expected. I remember in my previous relationship we spent so much time together that I really felt the loss of my personal time. With my current relationship, our time apart has helped me appreciate the time we spend together and makes me appreciate having him even more. 

When it comes to love, it’s important that a relationship move at a pace that you are both comfortable with.  I am thankful my boyfriend feels the same way I do about living together.

Others may see it as moving slowly. But we’re moving at a pace we are both comfortable with. And our relationship is stronger for it!


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